[Moderator's note: Slightly edited at poster's request... BIG]
 
    I am going thru the hills and valleys of mourning.  I made it through
Saturday at work alright even though the day seemed to go on forever until
it was time to go.  I miss her a great deal.  I have been giving Mickey
alot of attention.  I find myself feeling OK and then suddenly I'll be
overwhelmed by a feeling of grief and then the tears follow.  After work
Sat, Mickey and I went to my parents place.  We visited Abbeys grave and
placed a bouquet of flowers there for her.  Then we drove northwest to
where my younger brother's new house is (rural Lancaster, PA, he was
moving his family in this weekend) and visited them for awhile.  Mickey
had a wonderful time.  He was cutely curled up in my lap napping thru most
of the drive.  At my brother's he had a great time exploring the new house
and seeing my 2 little neice & nephew who adore him.  He also met their
dog Tasha who loved him.  They got along well.  I had a hamburger & hotdog
while we were there.  Mickey had his food & water & linatone which I had
brought along, he also tried a small piece of Kiwi fruit whih he liked a
bit & a corn chip which he promptly took and ran with.  The hardest part
was the nighttime when we got back home.  With the darkness and the
relative quiet I found myself missing Abbey terribly.  I tried hard to
hold back the tears.  I got really sad when my girlfiends cat appeared
with one of Abbey favorite balls and started playing w/ it in the middle
of the room.  Then he stopped w/ the ball next to him and looked this way
and that as if waiting for her to come and join him.  When she didn't
appear for him, he began walking around looking under her usual hiding
places, I know he was searching for her.  He did this for at least an
hour.  It was absolutely heart wrenching.  They used to play together and
Abbey would usually get the upper hand on him.  Everybody misses her.  I
got some condolence letters from folks on the FML, it was so nice to feel
that kind of caring and understanding from others, some who were
experiencing the loss of their own critters.  I know eventually the pain
will subside.  I put a picture of Abbey & Mickey on top of the TV cabinet
in the LR w/ some flowers.  I wanted to be able to see her whenever I
walked by.  I'm trying hard to be brave and telling myself I'll be with
her again someday and that she is watching over me in spirit.  I'll talk
to you later.  I'll be going to my parents place again today to bring my
Mom flowers for Mothers Day.  Mickey will be going also.
 
Peace and Love,
 
Fred & Mickey
[Posted in FML issue 1194]