I put C-pi to sleep this morning. It's just about the saddest, most
difficult thing I've ever done. I miss her so much.
 
Several days ago, she started to become lethargic. But she still got along
OK, it seemed. Then I drove to Utah for a couple of days and in the motel,
she had trouble getting down from the bed, so that by morning, she had
used the bedspread and sheets for a toilet a couple of times. I took her
and the other two ferrets for a short hike in Arches National Park
(carrying them in my pack, of course), and when we returned, she could only
stand in one place. I brought her back home and got another blood test; her
BUN and creatanine readings were way up again, higher than when she first
underwent surgery two and a half months ago. Over the next couple of days,
she got worse. Saturday and yesterday (New Year's Eve) she could no longer
urinate (she went once that I know of); she began retaining fluids instead of
eliminating them. I was so afraid if I kept hydrating her, the fluid would
begin collecting in her lungs. So yesterday, I didn't hydrate her
subcutaneously and decided to wait to take her to her regular vet this
morning. All day yesterday and all last night, her breathing was labored
and quick. She could hardly even go diarrhea; what came out this morning
was black and gel-like in consistency. At most, the vet would have put her
on IVs again today and given her a diuretic to try to get her kidneys going
again. But that wouldn't have made the filtering process normal again that
caused all the trouble to begin with.
 
Anyway, to make a long story short, we tried everything currently
available for treating ferrets with kidney failure. We used prednisone,
fish oil, and ACE inhibitors -- all documented in various research
journals on kidney disease. She did real well for a couple of months. And
then she got sick again. She would take a couple of steps and then lie
down or list sideways. I held her up at the water bowl to help her get a
drink of water. I held her in my lap most of the night and this morning.
 
It was the hardest thing in the world to watch the vet stick the needle in
her to euthanize her. She struggled, which made me feel worse because she
wanted to get away. I feel so horrible, and yet I know that to have made her
hang on would only have made her suffer more and longer, a slow wasting and
possible eventual suffocation from not being able to pass the fluids from
her system.
 
If I live to be 100, I'll never get over it. It hurts so much to lose her.
 
We buried her in the backyard wrapped in a baby blanket in a special
basket I bought for her this morning.
 
I would sure appreciate any words of comfort you all have to offer.
 
Linda, Espie and Frankie
 
In memoriam
C-pi
Born ca. May 1, 1992    Path Valley Farms, Pa.
Died Jan. 2, 1995    Albuquerque, N.M.
[Posted in FML issue 1062]