I have a datum for anyone interested in First Amendment issues and/or the
legal right to own a pet ferret.  I think it might be fun for those of us
who, like me, like ferrets and are very concerned about the anti-ferret
legislation and attitudes of many state and local governments as well as the
ferretophobia displayed by the SPCA, to see if maybe a Supreme Court ruling
might make a difference.  Here is the datum, as I sent it the other evening
to FML, a BBS/usenet for weasel-people:
   "My big male ferret, Frankenweasel, did something last night which neither
I nor my neighbor, who was the target of the behavior,  have ever even
_heard_ of before, let alone seen in a ferret, and we wondered if anyone out
there has ever seen a ferret do anything like this.  We think maybe Frank has
found God -- only apparently God, in this case, is my neighbor G***!
   When G*** came over last night to pick up his email (he is, like me, a
member of American Online, and uses my computer to access it, as his is
broken), Frank came running out of the bedroom just as G*** walked in the
front door.  Frank immediately planted himself in front of G***, only instead
of doing a big mock-attack directed at G***, like he often does with this as
a preliminary, while G*** and I watched in amazement, he suddenly lowered his
head and raised his rear in a ritual posture of submission, as to an Alpha
male, as if he were bowing down toward Mecca, or prostrating himself before
the king.  He went through this whole ritual dance of submission, bowing,
rubbing head and chin along the floor with his belly also on the floor, and
so on, closing by lying down flat before G***, belly, chin, and chest on the
floor, eyes looking up worshipfully at G***.
   "Has Frank found God in the form of G***?  Was he just putting us on?  And
why was this directed at _G***_?  G*** comes over to visit frequently, but
_I'm_ the one who feeds them, cleans the cage, picks them up, cuddles them,
and so on on a constant basis.  Or is it because I'm female, [while] G***'s
male?  Anybody have any idea what the little guy had on his mind when he did
all this?  Much thanks for anything you can add to our understanding of
weasel psychology!"
   I also got some feedback from one of my electronic pen-pals on FML, to the
effect that her ferret "occasionally behaves that way--to the front door!  He
presents himself in front of the door and then lies in front of it, staring
and still, almost as if he expects the door to speak.  (this is different
from when he hears someone at the door and/or is curious about the world
beyond the door--then he's right there! all alert).  The door does face east.
. ."
   Now how can any organism that has a clear spiritual sense like this
possibly be banned from any state in the union?!  Isn't this a clear case of
discrimination against a culture-bearing, sentient species, however alien it
may be?  What would the world think if, say, the Kansas City Animal Control
people suddenly pulled up to the first real alien craft to land on Earth,
landing in that city, and, without preliminary or warrant, yanked the
occupants out of the craft, took them away, gassed them to death, then
"tested them for rabies"?!  I ask you!  So what do you say -- is this a case
of attack on the First Amendment, or what?  Weasel-lovers of the world,
unite!  You have nothing to lose but a lot of Bad Attitudes!!
 
[Posted in FML issue 0833]