Here's a little poem/song I wrote. I'm involved in singing and science
fiction fandom (we call it "filking") and there are lots of cat songs
but I didn't know any ferret songs. So I made one. This is 99% true.
Keesa really did this, although she really doesn't steal rings -- she
likes EARrings.
 
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"I Have a Little Ferret" by Barb Carlson
 
I have a little ferret who likes to steal my things
She takes my shoes, and my socks, and all my shiny rings
She hoards up all the plastic, she likes the denture cream
And in her little ferret eye, she has an impish gleam.
 
She likes to steal potatoes and hide them 'neath my chair
And by the time I find them, they're all covered up in hair!
But my silly little ferret comes chirping in dismay
How could I be so mean, so cruel to take her prize away?
 
One day she took the garbage bags, connected in a roll
she stuffed them up inside my couch all through a little hole
she wove them in and out and through the springs under my couch
and with it made a little nest -- a comfy ferret pouch.
 
And then with singlemindedness she feathered up her nest
She lined it with my children's socks -- she really liked them best
And then she decorated it with bits of treasures found
Treasures being anything that chanced to hit the ground!
 
When finally discovered, this ferret treasure trove
It had more booty in it than a pirate's secret cove
she'd scoured the house for neat stuff, and hoarded it away
with booty added hour-ly, it grew bigger day by day.
 
She had my husband's denture cream, my long-lost camera cap
With 13 pair of dirty socks, a roll of plastic wrap
Erasers (full of teeth-marks) some pencils and a pen
Two jelly beans, a gumdrop, all stacked inside her den.
 
She had my daughter's wristwatch, she had my son's old shirt
She ripped out my shoe linings, which seemed to be unhurt.
Two cat toys and a dog chew, the stuffing from a doll
A little wad of plastic tape all rolled into a ball.
 
She lined her stuff up neatly, to a ferret's practiced eye
And settled in, quite blissful, with a deep and happy sigh
But this was her undoing -- she wouldn't budge when called
And I was forced to find her. When I did I was appalled!
 
It took me 20 minutes to pull out all that stuff
It took me 20 minutes more to vacuum up the fluff
And when the ferret was let loose, her joy at freedom plain
It took her only seconds to put it back again.
 
[Posted in FML issue 0471]