Reply to:   Vacuum Cleaner
 
Ok folks, my vacuum cleaner stories.
 
Beforehand:
   Hump-ba-dump-dump.  Wheee!!!!! This plastic bag is FUN!  Hey it's MINE!
Get out Rascal!  Bandit!  I am coming IN!
 
<Vacuum cleaner is brought out of closet and plopped over the barricade, or
is that ferretcade>
 
Both Ferrets:  Hey!  What's THAT!  Cool, it smells neat.  Watch your feet
DAD!  we're down here!
 
<Vacuum cleaner is hooked up with head attachment for carpet>
 
Both Ferrets:  Huh?!  What a noise!
 
Bandit: I like it!  Cool! and it moves too!  Dad, must have got a new toy for
us
 
Rascal:  Get away from that dangerous thing Bandit!  I, killer of whatever I
want, will kill it!  Hiss, hiss, lick, chomp, metallic clank.  Clank? it
didn't taste too good.
 
Bandit:  Hey get over here, there's all this cool hot air coming out from
under here!  Must be a way in, so we can explore!
 
Rascal:  Ah yessss, the soft underbelly of the beast...
 
Bandit:  Hey its head is chasing me.  I don't like backing up!  Oh yeah, I
can jump on it.  Whoa!  it is shaking me off.  Cool, what's this hose thing.
I'm hungry.  There's my food dish. <and he hops into the cage and ignores the
cleaner>
 
Rascal:  Arrrrhhhh!!  Arrrrhhh!  It is running away from me!  I have
vanquished it!  Hee hee, time for a long dance!  Ooops fell over, must dance
more.
 
I:  Get away from that head, Bandit!  You stupid fuzzball, I can clean the
corner if you keep backing away into one!  Rascal, I hope that metal didn't
taste good.  No neither of you %^^&%* may sniff of chew at the electrical
connection.  Will you two $&^$* get out of the way!  <sigh>.
 
<Later, I remove the head and use the hose to suck up all the litter oustide
of their cage and all the food, litter, and errrr refuse on the floos
beneathe their cage.>
 
Both Ferrets:  Hey!  What's THAT!  Cool, it smells neat.
 
Bandit:  What's this wind blowing away from me?  <There is a sort of shoop!
sound as he sticks his head in the aluminum tube and the vacuum cleaner sucks
him in.>  UUUnnnngghh! <pop!>  Whew!  WOW! THAT WAS FUN!  <shoop, pop, shoop,
pop, shoop, pop, shoop, pop, shoop, pop...>
 
Me:  HA ha haha hah!  Ok bandit, I really need to clean this.  Hee hee hee.
Bandit! ha ha.  Bandit!! <sigh>.
 
Rascal:  I am stalking the beast through the high shag carpet...  Ahhh, I see
my compatriot has cleverly distracted it...  1... 2... 3...  CHARGE!
ArrrrrgghhH!!!!! clank! <insert flying ferret with mouth open attacking and
bouncing off the metal tube>  ow. THAT DIDN'T HURT!  Hey!  stop chasing me!
Leggo my side!  Help!  Murder! Terror!  Hey gimme my arm back!  Leggo my leg!
 It's got my side again!!!!  Aaaaaaaaaa!  Cage!!!!!!!  It can't get me here!
Wheeeeeee!  That was fun, I feel ALIVE!  time for a  dance!  Ooops fell over,
must dance more.
 
Me:  HAHAHAHAHAHA!  Rascal!  You silly fuzzball.  You wanna play now?
Attack!!!!!  Got your side, got your leg, got ya!  Hahahahaha....
[Posted in FML issue 1115]