To Carie,  Re: Hershey's passing.
     Well, I feel your sadness & pain, or maby I feel my own pain reminded of
it by your letter...  I have found some comfort from the rainbow bridge story on
the board.  I visualized it when my oldest girl passed on in her sleep last
month.  She was almost 6 herself, though she had no obvious sicknesses.  I hope
she welcomed your Hershey as she always was a gentle soul.
     It's good that you have your other furries to help you thru your
grieving.  I lost my entire birth family & went thru a divorce in a period of
about 4 years, and 3 years later am just starting to piece things back together.
 
     Just remember he's not in pain anymore, and is surrounded by love and
will be waiting for us when we pass over the bridge ourselves.
     I really shuddered when you said the words "the vet pierced his heart
with the lethal needle".  Perhaps a short story will help next time you might be
in a similar positon:
    Just the week after Squeeky passed on my Sons' fience's feline friend of
18 years developed kidney failure.  She was saying she knew Raz's time had come
as he peed on the living room carpet...and she was going to put him "to sleep"
on that baises.  I thought this was a large jump of logic, and asked my holistic
vet friend for help.  Since it was a Sunday he thought a clinic visit would be
good, not wait until tomorrow.  It turned out Raz had a bladder infection which
caused the accident, but his kidneys were failing.  IV treatement did not help,
and on Tues my Son asked me to pic up Raz at the clinic, as he was not doing any
better & they didn't want to run expenses up more.  I took him to Dr. Benesh
here & he reviewed the lab results which did not look good.  He prescribed
something to help Razs' labored breathing, continue the anti biotic for the
infection, and lasix to help the kidneys pass fluid.
    On the way to my house Raz had a small seisure, but came out of it.  When
my Son got off work we went to his house where I told him I paid for my vet &
the Rx's so not to worry about that.  He said he & Kathy were going to take the
next day to be with Raz & then "put him to sleep"..  I walked them thru the
Rx's, dosages etc..  & left.  As I got home the phone was ringing & my Son Rudy
said Raz had died in his arms, just 5 minutes after I had left.  Kathy said  a
couple of days later, that it was like Raz wanted just immediate family there,
to say goodby.  Rudy thinks he had heart failure finally as he let out a brief
sound, and gently layed on his side.  Rudy picked him up, & about 2 minutes
later Raz left his body.
    I've spent time with & have heard about the passing of both 2 and 4
legged people and universally it's come across that the critically ill will stay
if there is enough love, and will leave if given permission by those who they
love & love them.
    About a month ago a lady told of her ferret child that was ill for quite
a time.  They went thru heroic treatements & during that time she was telling
her fuzzy to just hang in there.  When she decided that there was no further
hope, she had her vet give a lethal injecion that should have "worked" in one
minute.  The little fuzzy five minutes later was the same, alive little person,
until the mom said it was ok for her to leave, and seconds later she did.
    What I am attempting to very gently say is that I've found that it is not
necessary to give lethal poisons to someone we love, as that causes us extreme
stress by itself.  I have come to see that pain can be medicated if present, and
it is only necessary to give permission to the critically ill for them to take
the first step in crossing over the rainbow bridge, if that indeed is what they
are ready to do.  Many people say they know when the time has come, I found it's
only necessary to give time and permission for "nature to take its' course"
    Again, I wish in no way to "tell you you did something "wrong"" or
anything like that, only perhaps give you information to help make the future
easier to work with.  I guess it's true that we all are just visitors here...
And we all need help on the journey from time to time.  Feel free to use the
recipe I developed for my Timmy to help your other fuzzies live longer,
healthier lives.  My 8 dive into it every evening, not leaving a bit left over.
 
    My Brother's doctor told my mom that my brother is not in the ground, he
is both with God and here with us, not feeling pain nor cold, and wishing health
and happiness for us, for there will always be love.  It is eternal, and knows
no bounds.
We are all part of the greater love that will never die.  Don't let the pain of
your grieving let you lose sight of that.
        Very sincerely,  Gary
[Posted in FML issue 1184]