This is to John Carr, with the "problem" female ferret:
 
She sounds like a normal ferret, if in need of a bit of socialization.  They
always nip at things and steal.  Ferret is derived from Latin for "little
thief."  When she bites something you don't want her to, quickly pick her
up, swat her on the head, shake her around a bit, then put her away in
her cage for a while.  Say NO! to her too.  That applies especially to
nipping at people.  As for stealing, you could spray "Bitter Apple" on
things you don't want her to steal, and move as much of it as you can
out of her reach.  Mine (two tiny females) steal anything they can,
including full 2-liter bottles.  Nestle' loves to steal pens and pencils.
They both steal anything wrapped in crinkly plastic.  Hershey is less of
a thief, though once she sets her mind on something she will not stop
until she can get it.  If you catch her with something, pick her up quickly
and firmly, and grab hold of whatever she stole.  You can pick a ferret
up by the teeth, so just apply a continuous firm pull on the object, and
don't try to wrench it away.  She'll let go sooner or later.  Ferrets will
always steal, so don't hold that against her.
 
As for her not letting you pick her up, that may be a misinterpretation
on your part.  When I was working with Sonny, who belonged to the
education department of our local zoo, he always resisted being picked up,
or so I though.  As I got him more gentle, I realized that he had simply
thought that being grabbed at was an invitation to wrestle.  So he wriggled
away and tried to nip, etc.  It is necessary to pick such a ferret up
in one quick motion, and not to hesitate.  If you pull away because she
threatens to bite you, you just tell her that you are only playing.  Picking
her up quickly says that you want to pick her up, no questions.  I think
that is one of the most misunderstood things about ferrets:  they threaten to
bite all the time, because it is a play gesture to them.  They rarely carry out
 on it, and even more rarely do so hard enough to do any damage.  No ferret
I know of will sit still in someone's arms for very long, unless
it is occupied with something.  One thing to try might be to pick her
up and immediately put a drop of Ferretone on her belly.  She
will start licking it off, and get used to you holding her
while doing so.  Even so, ferrets have a lot of energy, and she isn't
likely to sit still for very long with no reason, so don't expect that
she will lie down in your arms for a long time.  Grabbing her and giving
her a treat for being held will also make her less nippy.
 
E.S., Hershey, and Nestle'
[Posted in FML issue 0419]