I never thought that when I wrote this poem, trying to remind others
that our babies are just loans,trying to help deal with the pain of
loss, that I would be the one needing it's words. That I would have
to be reminded our babies are just a loan.

Yesterday, I paid my loan, I sent my Candy home, with a thousand tears
and many more to come. Now it seems those words fall flat on ears of
the grieving whose heart has been broken. Even in my quote below, i try
to help others remember those beautiful and precious memories.and not
hide in those shadows of grief. But now, that's exactly what I want to
do. It is hard to play in the meadow of memories when all that seems
to haunt my mind right now is that she is gone. My Candy has been sent
home with no notice, not even a day. Fly free wth your new wings my
tiny girl. Now you have your figure back. Please help me heal. You've
left an empty mess here. Your loan came due much, much too soon.

The Loan

  What's the price? I asked of him, the owner of the store.
  Or should, I thought, seek shelters where the have so many more?

  The price I paid that sunny day,was nothing I had known.
  For money wasn't all of it, he was but just a loan.

  I paid with heart, with every time, a snuffle or a sneeze.
  The years went by, pieces of heart so many just like these.

  Thoughout those years a bigger piece, each time we saw "the man".
  "Oh fix him please, oh can you please?" He said, "Oh yes I can."

  Then came the day when money not, nor tears could make him well.
  Was this the loan I'd heard about, the tolling of the bell?

  One single tear, a thousand more, twas time to say goodbye.
  To pay my loan, and send him home...I felt that I would die.

  With all the pieces of my heart, with tears on my cheek hot.
  I paid my loan, I sent him home, alas with money not.

  sp
  2-1-10

Hide not amongst the shadows of grief,
but frolick openly in the meadow of memories.

[Posted in FML 6905]