Shron thanks. You know that I feel a special bond wtih you because you
were benefiting from your Rocky just as much as an adult.
I mistakenly took out a VERY important frame, so I added a connactation
yesterday. thats is that now that Sean is an adult, he faces new
issues ... somewhat alone and that he still battles. Everything is not
hunky dory.
I guess I'll just put it out there. We have had serious and unexpected
problems wtih Sean for months now. In a nut shell, as awesome and
normal as he seemed, we learned that he was barely a middle schooler
emotionally and also behind socially more than we thought .. and he's
in a mans body with adult rights and freedom. Not good. Ever since 8th
grade we saw him withdrawl. Then he made a turn around and had the time
of his life freshman year in high school. Thought the year before was
just an understandable set back due to transitioning and such. Then
slowly from Sophmore Year to Sr year, the withdraw issue came back
really bad. Well, he was going through puberty and changes, and
depression is frequent in recovered autistics.
So we just did the best we could and nobody knew exactly what was going
on at first. All we could do is sit, wait around, and see what develops
(or goes away). And guess what? We are once again alone like when he
was little in the movie when Autism was a taboo term and diagnosis, so
therefore we had no support (even from family). Everyone looked at that
boy and told us he was normal with just some delays (wer'e talking in
diff states too). We were alone then. We are finding ourselves once
again, alone. We and the world dont' know much if anything at all about
moderate to severe autistics getting as well as Sean did and then going
out into the world. Autistics cannot transition well, sometimes ever.
His life has been nothing but transitions for a few years now. I'm sure
that is what is occuring. It's Sean freaking out about buttering the
wrong side of the toast when he was 3 ... just expressing itself as an
adult. Whats more, as many people know, once a handicapped child hits
adulthood..... ya, services? ..not so much. In many states, once they
reach 21, there is NOTHING.
Sean was in grave danger of not graduating. We also had to stop him
from running away as he thought he could take off with a 14 year old
mixed up little girl with some serious mental problems of her own, buy
a new Kia Soul for 150 a month free and clear, and rent an apt for 200.
Oh and by the way, did you know that you don't really need electricity?
We had to scarf his savings account away to protect himself against his
autistic irrationalities, saving himself from himself. Next step was
saving our family and him as well.
I had to pull the tough love thing when issues got much worse in a
nasty way. Out on the doorstep he will go only wearing shorts, with
locks changed, and friends told not to "help" cause guess what? Yah,
that beloved Xbox in the movie? Yah thats mine, the shoes are mine,
everything is mine ... we bought it. So go have fun being 18. The
normal kid in him responded to that like clockwork. So here he is.
Stable. Dong great at his jobs again and school. But it feels like
every other day, something bad happens with him again, and again.
The important thing is that he's safe and finishing school though.
Do you all want to know what else helped during the climax of the
crisis?? Me saying to him and others in a family meeting at our house,
"My job is to get you to age 18, on that stage to get your degree,
stablize you and set you up in training or school for a job or career
so you can take care of yourself, and protect you from drugs, the law,
and getting someone pregnant. I'll be DAMNED if I let a girlfriend,
your attitude, or anything else get in the way of that. I will not let
you blow a life time of work four months before the finish line. I
won't let you do it to yourself, to us, and ..... to all the ferret
people who loved you, supported you and even helped you over your life
time. That mother of that little girl was there, my husband looked her
in the eye, and said, "it's just not happening. We and everyone else in
his life ... will not LET it happen. We're done. You hear me Sean? It's
finished".
So the autistic adult was addressed, and the normal adult was
addressed. And here we are. We have a brand spanking new place here in
Chattanooga that is trying to help kids/people like Sean. We'll see
what that brings. Meanwhile the only thing he is 100% normal (his old
self) with and around to this very minute ..... is with Pharos and the
other ferrets. That remains a constant blessing.
Okay, so I won't update after this. The situation changes hourly to
more than wonderful to frightening and sad. If something drastic occurs
(which it wont, I wont' let it), I'l let you all know, and if something
wonderful happens in that everyone gets a handle on this and graduation
is certain, I"ll also let you know. Other than that, it is what it is,
and we are hanging in there as Sean once again beats down the path for
others who are coming up behind him and confronts his battles.
The movie is for us to all remember ... that no matter what happens.
No matter what, even your worst fears, he is still leagues better than
what we ever thought he could be. So remember that when you watch the
movie, and todays problems will come into perspective.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5KSESOkla8
Humbly yours,
Wolfy
[Posted in FML 6617]
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