I am very sorry that I am responding to the post about Aspergers and
ferrets from a couple weeks ago. It is beyond ironic to me, that the
very reason for my absence is due to my autistic teenager and a
crisis situation that arose with him. Both he and the young lady with
Aspergers are having a good deal of trouble with a transition it
appears. Transitions are difficult for people with either disorder.
Sometimes, even excruciating.

Natalie, my name is Rebecca Stout (Wolfy) and I am the mom of Sean and
Rocky. Eighteen years ago, Sean was born moderately-severely autistic.
Due to a great deal of effort on his families part, a few caring
professionals, early intervention, his own blood, sweat and tears, and
a little ferret named, Rocky ... his emergence was nothing less than
miraculous. When you consider the fact that we live in the south and
that he was born when the "A" word was taboo around here (as well as
some other places in the nation at the ime), it's quite remarkable.
When he was, gosh it's been so long I cant' remember exact numbers,
about 6-8 years of age, ferrets touched his life unexpectedly. He
eventually adopted his own baby ferret from a shelter that he named,
Rocky (who also had a little special needs). That ferret sparked normal
play, aided in socialization and especially in self help skills. Rocky
quickly became an aid, or service animal, in that he helped Sean go out
in public and participate in things he otherwise would have resisted or
even refused. The ferret not only kept him calm and grounded for
transitions to different places and situations, but the unusual pet
sparked others to approach Sean carefully, quietly and with curiosity
furthering his social skills.

Sean never went through the extreme anxiety you are now suffering right
now because he was very little at the time, was on medications, and we
were able to take it very, very slow. But, I am severely Bipolar I with
OCD. And for the first time in my adult life, I got another type of pet
that was just as big of a responsibility as the ferrets were that I
grew up with. We have four birds now. Even when we got a budgie, I
really stressed. Each bird brought on a lot of temporary anxiety. A
couple years later we got our main bird, a cockatoo named Tika. Well,
that really pushed me over the edge. I cried, I sometimes shook, I
shut down most of the time though... all the while I was estactic over
my new baby. I was over the moon. I thought the transition would pass
quickly, like with the other birds. The first couple of tiny birds
shook me up or a few weeks. But Tika, the big parrot, was different. I
fell apart like you did. And even when that anxiety left, I had nagging
feelings and thoughts about whether I should have bought her or not. I
kept wondering if I made the right decision because my whole life had
changed. And it was going to remain changed like that (for life in my
case, parrots live as long as humans). I felt completely trapped. And
truth be told, once in a while that thought enters my mind even today.
I think I had worries for six months or more. I really don't think this
will happen to you at all though. Because birds are loud, dirty,
demanding, take up extraordinary amounts of time`and they aren't sweet
natured like ferrets. Nope. Anyway, I can relate a little to what you
might be feelings.

First, know that ferrets are hugely independent. They don't need a lot
of time and entertainment to be happy .. not like you are probably
supposing. So you don't need to feel so trapped. Know that these guys
aren't around very long. Petunia could be here for only a few years
or as much as seven or so (that would be very unusual). So it's not
forever. That thought should make you feel a little bit of relief about
long term commitment. You already know this, but the trick here is to
make this animal part of your routine. And part of you. Set up the
least restrictive routine and start off giving the ferret the least
attention that you can without neglecting him dangerously. For example,
instead of worrying about playing with her like a chore, pick a time
to just plain let her out each day. For instance, after waking up and
going to the bathroom, perhaps you can let the ferret out to play ...
and go back to your morning routine. You don't have to pay attention to
Petunia. She'll just get a kick out of parallel play. You of all people
know what that is!! For others, the autistic love to parallel play at
times rather than engage and join in play. For example, Sean might want
to be in the same room next to me to play with something, but not want
me to play with him, bug and talk to him. Pick a time of day to scoop
the poop, fill the water and check the poop. The same time every single
day. And maybe each weekend you can pick a day to clean ears and check
nails, etc..

Ferrets "work" with the autistic because they are independent, quiet
and very gently but persistently engage you socially and physically. A
dog is in your face by comparison. And if you don't give him attention
he'll beg for some. That can be overload sensory wise. A cat doesn't
care. A ferret just "checks in", and wants your attention before other
things, but if you don't want to play, they shrug and bounce happily
off to find some other way to entertain themselves. It's no biggee. So
shed that guilt if you are feeling any and can't give yourself as much
as you want to. In time, you can add to your ferrety experience. And
also know that if you want to veg out in Asperger land, your ferret
isn't going to starve or die of thirst. If you keep those bowls and
bottles full, she'll survive.

As far as traveling, well, maybe that would be overwhelming at this
time? I don't know. If you're dying to go out with Petunia, why not
just put a leash on her and go sit in the yard or something. When you
do decide to travel, just have some little carrier that always has a
litter box, bedding, food bowl, and spare water bottle already set up.
You could keep it in your car, or tucked away somewhere so you don't
have that added stress with transitioning going out traveling.

It'll be okay. I promise. It'll be okay. Take it a day at a time. Write
us anytime you feel the need to help with the stress. Even if you just
want to do a blog or something about you and your ferret on the FML.
Take a few deep breaths.. Know that even the neurotypical can go
through this, just not on such a grand scale. And know that this is
"okay" for you. It's like a wave in the ocean, Natalie. Don't fight
it. Just ride it in, it always ends and brings you back to land.

For Sean and Rocky's site/story:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywrOWtCDE7U

http://wolfysluv.terrabox.com/sean.html --- Their site

Sean today -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN7WvhbXekM

Wolfy
ps, this was awesome!  http://www.blip.tv/file/2792847

[Posted in FML 6598]