::A blue mist rolls slowly across the ground towards you. Curiously
you watch, then a feeling of dread falls upon you as you realize what
this means. You can't escape what is to come, all you can do is grin
and bear it. Tiny ferret creatures soon begin showing up and stand
attentively as the mist slowly gravitates towards a center and rises.
It seems to pull together tightly as if it were to implode. Right now,
you wish your brain would implode. The thick mist takes on the shape of
a woman. Oh the dread. Woe is you. Because now standing before you clad
in deep midnight blue robes and donning a ridiculous pointed hat is a
petite flower of a woman that you readily recognize. It is ... the
Great Ferret Oracle::
"Greetings and salutations, ferret love slaves!!"
:: The sound of her smacking and popping the gum in her mouth grates
across your nerves. And you wonder ... what is up with the hat? ::
"Nice hat huh??"
She spits her gum out with great oomf arcing it across the air and past
your face::
"Sharon Beardon of SOS gifted me this gorgeous attire a few years back.
I decided to drag it out of the closet for this special occasion. Very
Gucci, isn't it?"
:: The cheesiness makes you cringe. And you wish she'd get on with
whatever the purpose of this intrusive visit is. Even more, you pray
she keeps the stinkin' golden poop scooper under her robes. ::
"Okay so you're wondering why I"m here? See, I know that without you
saying anything, because I am all knowing. you know. That's why I am an
oracle. Anyway, on with the business at hand. I saw that our resident
ferret super hero has risen to Jedi status. Take a look."
:: With a wave of her staff the evidence Jedi-ism appears before you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd8Yq2ljDj4
"And I had to come out and congratulate SuperTonks on his achievement.
Tonks, if I, myself, wasn't the greatest being in this forum, I'd bow
to your greatness. But I'll just have to leave that to all my puppet
minions here on the FML. NOW BOW PUPPETS!!!!!"
::WACK! You feel a painful smack on the back of your head forcing you
to bow. Rubbing your head you look up and you say to yourself in your
best J-Lo voice, "oh no she di-int!!" Ohhhh but yes, she did.
Hesitantly, you look at your hand. The golden pooper scooper has left
it's mark::
"Don't touch that, puppet, it's nasty. Ut oh ..."
::She sways back and forth while dramatically throwing her arm across
her forehead. Oh no ... its' one of her "prophecies"::
"Yes, I see ... I see ... I see people will see this announcement and
want to see more of SuperTonks. Lot's of seeing, slaves, lots of
seeing. Oh these premonitions take so much out of me, here let me lean
on you for a moment. Whew. Great power takes great energy, slave. Why
are you looking at me with that expression on your face? Oh. Oh of
course you wouldn't understand, I forgot."
::She straightens herself, flicks a few pieces of lint off her
shoulders and calls the ferrets to her feet. At last you think ..
she's going to leave ..::
"I have something wonderful to bestow onto you in anticipation of my
prophecy."
:: Of course she does. She never goes away.::
"Alright ready? Oh you're going to love this!!"
:: The Oracle pulls some hair balls out of her robes, shakes them like
dice in her hand, and tosses them to the ground with skill only a
diamond club meber of Atlantic City would have. With a wave of her
staff, she creates a spell. A spell that brings about something
awesome!::
"Behold!" http://www.skweezeme.net/supertonks.html
"I told you it was wonderful. Now, I know that it pains you ... but I
must depart so that you may enjoy my gift. Kiss kiss puppets. Kiss the
fuzzy lips within your homes. It's great medicine. One that not even I
can provide."
:: Realizing that The Ferret Oracle is one of your guilty pleasures you
are almost sad to see her gone. But alas ... you have hair to wash. She
raises her arms, and with a great downward motion there is a giant
poof. And she is gone. To wash or to watch now. That is the question::
The Great Ferret Oracle
www.wolfysluv.fuzzyfrenzy.com/ferret-oracle.html -- too see her
greatness
[Posted in FML 6831]
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