::In the distance a lingering winter fog hovers close to the ground
after a long, icy December rain. It begins to move and gather in one
area, then slowly begins to swirl. As you squint to try to see the
strange happening, the swirl quickly turns into a large whirpool of
mist ... like ... a giant toilet flushing. Something begins to rise
from the center of the now violently gurgling toilet flush. It then
seems to take on the form of a human. That's when you feel the sinking
feeling in your gut. Oh no. "It's" back.::

"Woooo hooo! Hello ferret love puppets. It is I, the Great Ferret
Oracle. The one and only ... Robed One. Yes indeed. I see we are all
getting ready for Christmas are we? Hmm. Giving tree, check. Christmas
music, check. Lights, check. Stockings, check. Traditional Christmas
goodies, check. Decorations, check. It's a Wonderful Life on the TV,
check. friends and family, check. Ferrets, check. Tree, check.
Moonshine ... er, rum, check. Something is missing. Something
important."

::The woman clad in a midnight blue velvet robe pauses as her mouth
twists to the side in deep thought. No .. never mind, its twisted to
the side because she is savoring the flavor of her favorite gum not
because of deep ponderings. A moment passes and the woman begins to
chew, snap and pop the gum in her mouth. She looks vexed. Yup. She "is"
vexed. She raises her hand to her mouth, pinches the gum and begins to
stretch it out from her mouth. She shoves it back in. Stretches it out,
shoves it back in. Stretches it out and then drops the end of the gum
remaining between her teeth so that the long strand of gum dangles from
her fingers. With a swift flick of the wrist she whirls the long string
of gum in circles around her finger clockwise. The bulky end of the gum
slaps her hand and then swings counterclockwise in circles until it
winds tight around her finger and slaps her yet again. With a great
sigh, she slips one end of the gum into her mouth, and then slurps the
rest of it up into her mouth like a piece of spaghetti. Still ... she
looks vexed.::

"I know it's not me that's missing anything, puppets. I double checked.
I am well stocked with Depends and Bush Beans. My tiny Red Radio Flyer
wagon is packed with pee splat matts, ferretone to lube my squeaky
wheels, hair balls, gum, and my staff."

::The petite flower of a Goddess, picks up her staff and hair balls.
What a treat for you. She is going to perform a ceremony to help you
remember what you are missing, the imperfect being that you are::

"BOOM chuggalugga BOOM chuggalugga BOOM!" ::With robes flapping in
the wind, the Oracle spins round and round while she chants. Then she
suddenly stops and raises her staff. SLAM! Her staff is driven to the
ground with a thunderous noise. Her voice was thunderous when she
yelled, "slam" that is, not the staff hitting the ground. And that's
when it happens. You remember what's missing.::

"You've got it now ferret slave ... presents. You can't have Christmas
without presents. Well thank goodness for you I have friends in high,
high places. Bob Hamilton has donated a few things. Since there is not
enough for everyone, I'll hold a contest for them. This isn't an
ordinary contest. This contest is in the realm of a great Oracle. And
because of that, anyone can enter the contest with just a click of the
mouse. And I, the great Oracle that I am, predict that you all might
have some fun "playing" the game."

::Poof! No, a ferret did not poof, but "Poof!" in that the esteemed
Robed One has vanished into thin air.::

Wolfy:
Hi, ya'll. Listen, Bob came to me quite a while ago and told me that
he'd like to brighten up the FML with a little help from his comic
book. He has been through some very strange and difficult financial
times since the economy started going south a couple years ago. He
knows that he is not the only one here who has. Things have been a
little sad for quite a while now. In addition, many of us on the FML
have found ourselves a bit overwhelmed with work, animals, rescue,
family, finances, our health and much more this past year. I know it
can be hard to find the energy and time to dig deep down and share with
our very special ferret friends here. So we tried to brainstorm up a
way to get everyone chatting and bantering playfully back and forth
with each other. And so we thought of this contest.

It's very easy to enter the contest. There are only two things
required. All you have to do, is post something Christmasy and funny
enough to jiggle that ole' Wolfy's giggle pin loose on the FML. Even if
you have no pic, vid, joke, poem, song or anecdote to tell, then just
reply to someone else that has participated on the list and you'll be
put into the drawing as well. Please use the word Itachi somewhere on
the topic line so we all know your post is an entry. When you send your
post to the FML, you must also email me, [log in to unmask] , with 2
things: a copy of your post and tell me what is on the bottom left hand
corner on the cover of issue #1 of Itachi, The Aikido Ferret. Go to the
www.Aikidoferret.com site and look around to find out.

I hope that many on the FML will join in on the thread and have some
fun. I hope people join the fun even if they don't want to be in the
contest. If you don't want to be in the contest and but you still want
to join in the conversations, just don't send me a private email with
your post and the answer to my question.

What can you win?
- The winner will get their choice of a black Aikido t-shirt
  (adult-small), or a white Aikido t-shirt (adult-small) and a bumper
  sticker that has an awesome cartoon ferret on it with the words,
  "My ferret can out ferret your ferret".
- Second prize will get the same thing, but no choice in color.
- Third prize is a bumper sticker.

The Great Ferret Oracle

[Posted in FML 6535]