Dear Ferret Folks-

It is I, Alexandra from Ma., writing to you from sunny Playa Del Carmen
in Mexico, in the lovely state of Quintana Roo. The sun has set, the
fruit bats are out. The palm trees whisper in the soft darkness. My
neighbours have begun celebrating early, and there is the sound of
fiesta in the air. I just hope the police don't come with machine
guns before the night is out. People party hard here, and frankly I
find it un-nerving to have a teenager with a machine gun in my general
vicinity. Saw a really young one the other day with a lollipop in
his mouth, I kid you not. The perfect accessory for a machine gun. A
lollipop. I love Mexico, but things are a bit surreal here. A cat in
heat yowls in the distance, beer bottles clank.

I have been thinking about the New Year, and the FML. If it were a
person, I might have some suggestions for it for the coming year.
Such as....

1) Lets rig an electrical switch so that anyone who posts hateful
things under the name "Anonymous" sends about 2,985,281 volts through
their keyboard. Give the "Spontaneous Human Combustion" conspiracy
theorists something to sink their teeth into. Surely we have an
electrical engineer among us, and a few Code Monkeys? The voltage could
be lowered for anyone who leads with "I don't mean to cause trouble,
BUT..." But not by much.

2) Let's try treating one another at least HALF as well as we treat our
fuzzies on an average day. Wouldn't that be amazing? OK. Not realistic.
Let's try treating one another A QUARTER as well as we treat our
fuzzies on an average day. Still amazing.

3) Let's not forget that BIG puts this whole thing together for us
every night, except when doctors are actively installing a zipper in
his side. That's pretty cool of him, isn't it?

4) I really, really want to hear lots from Edward Lipinski. Anyone
who can work "Hitler" and "ferret" and "Cubic Turkey" into the same
paragraph deserves a few inches of column space. Ditto, the right
Reverend Gordon. There are so many FML tears. We need an equivalent
portion of laughter, even if it is...um...kinda twisted. Maybe they
are the same person, pretending to be two. Not sure yet. Gotta think
on it. We need lots of Super Tonks and the Oracle and all of our silly
friends!

5) Let's remember to be grateful for Saraferret. She is one of a kind,
and she is very kind, when people need it the most. *ALL* of our
Greeters are very special, their work sometimes very hard. Let's
remember how lucky we are to have them.

6) Let's be grateful for Sukie, our researcher of distinction. She
does all the things that she does with limited vision, but an abundant
spirit.

7) Let us be grateful for our ferret organizations like the IFC, the
SOS, the Buck A Month Club, the FHL, etc. They raise money, hammer out
legislation of interest to us when they can. They protect ferrets, and
look toward their health and well being. Wish I had advocates like that
looking out for ME.

8) Let's be more supportive of our shelters, and spend less time
engaged in internecine personal warfare waged against the people who
run them. I don't CARE what we think he or she MIGHT have said, is
reported to have said via a reliable source who heard it from a friend
who saw it in an e-mail. Two years ago, or twelve.I don't caaaaaaaaare.
Isn't it supposed to be about the ferrets?

9) Isn't it supposed to be about the ferrets?

10) Isn't it supposed to be about the ferrets?

Just some musings for the coming yea.r I know I will be glad to see the
door close on 2008. Incurable romantic that I am, I dare to have high
hopes for 2009.

Happy New Year to you all. AND your wonderful ferrets.

Alexandra in MA.

[Posted in FML 6200]