My favorite "rebuttal" to a recently posted cruel fairytale came from
"momferret1", who stated: "My horse loved ferrets and would never step
on one, and we all know ferrets are too smart and would just teleport
out of the way. Silly man." Well of course they would! But "we in the
know" are not supposed to discuss ferret teleportation!

No ferret will teleport while they are being watched. If asked, I am
sure that even SaraFerret will deny that they possess this ability,
since every ferret knows that this would cause unwanted attention from
scientists & researchers (& ferrets just wanna have fun). Who has not
searched every nook & cranny of the room for their ferret, subsequently
determined that the ferret must be elsewhere, & then looked down to
find said ferret staring up at them quizzically? Who has not passed
their ferret in the hallway on the way to the kitchen, only to find the
ferret already IN the kitchen when they get there? Yep, they teleport.

It is OK to occasionally mention this amazing ability, as most people
will laugh & assume you are joking (Tell 'em the truth - they'll
never believe you). But please don't spread this information around
indiscriminately. Anyway, this is why there is never a need to fear
for the safety of the denizens at The Bridge.

Thank you to the Bridge Greeters for the comfort they bring to the
hoomins who need them. I do not generally read those posts since I
become too emotional, but I can see that each tale includes specifics
about the individual ferrets & their progress. I am sure that these
lovingly rendered accounts of ultimate ferret joy are time consuming
to "report" on a busy day at The Bridge, & those who volunteer to do
so are very special.

Finally, thanks to BIG, who does his very best to be an impartial
moderator for this newsletter. I hope that everyone understands what a
daunting task it must be. While we all only need a few minutes to read
through it each day (& sometimes skip a few days & catch-up when we
have time), he is plowing through MANY messages EVERY day, responding
directly to many, & doing a wonderful job of maintaining a good balance
in the postings. BIG, we are lucky to have you! (Please do not let some
false sense of humility weed this out of publication - you deserve
credit for all your time & hard work.) I posted a few months ago
suggesting that "certain people" should simply be ignored & I stand
by that assertion. You go ahead & post it BIG - it's your job (& an
un-rewarded one at that). I'll see "that name" & scroll on by. "No
problemo"! ;>)

And to all the ferret lovers out there, remember...
"Shhhhh - it's a ferret secret"

Lisa & Effe (the Extra Fine Ferret Extraordinaire)

[Posted in FML 6296]