We should be aware that little Miss Flatus (look it up) poofed out not
just gas gas at 92 octanc, but mixed with it was ten percent ethanol,
a 2-carbon alcohol. As you know gasoline gas burns with a red tongued
flame whereas ethanol burns with a "cool" blue flame, much hotter than
gasoline.. And, remarkably, smells like movie popcorn since its source
is field corn.

[Moderator's note: I suspect Mr. Lipinski just writes to get a rant out
of some of us. So today, I'll bite: ethanol burns COOLER than gasoline,
not hotter. BIG]

That ten percent ethanol flamed the vet's lashes, mustache and eyebrows
down to their roots and left his lab coat sweet smelling just like the
popcorn counter in the movie lobby. As a matter of fact, his melted
stethoscope, when peeled of his coat, probably tasted pretty good -
along with a Dr. Pepper.

As for Miss Poof & Blast Flatulator that ten percent ethanol, high
temperature poof left some sphincteroidal blistering and, depending
upon the velocity of the erupting flatulence, completely denuded the
ventral or underside of her tail, such that her tail is what may be
called a half and half, as in hair on top and completely bare on the
bottom. And, it goes without saying really, that her tail displays the
most unusual carrying posture, since more skin swelling occurred on the
bottom than on the top resulting in her tail now carried high up above
her back and has the cutest little curl in it, just like a little
piggie's tail.

Now that Miss Poof & Blast has developed a taste for gasahol, Gordon is
reminded to make sure she doesn't eat any nuggets of calcium carbide,
because when this is ingested with residual water already in her tummy,
a very powerful gas will be generated by name of acetylene, the gas
used by welders to actually melt steel and other metals So Gordon,
whatever you do, for heaven's sake, please don't point her sphincter
at anybody.

Edward Lipinski.

[Posted in FML 6161]