I most humbly want to correct our favorite mad scientist. The term you
used, "micturation," is correctly spelled "micturition." But I can
understand your spelling mistake, especially if you typed it off the
top of your head, since another form of the word is "micturate" as in:

"Don't micturate on my head and tell me it's raining."

And, according to my WordWeb dictionary, a synonym for "micturate"
is actually "wee-wee" (note the two "wees"), so our mad scientist is
absolutely correct on the proper use of our newly-formed acronym
"L. O. W. W." Wanting to be exhaustive (yes, this is exhausting) in
my search for truth, I did some research on the term "wee-wee."

The term "wee" was first used in Scotland or England (not sure which
exactly - apparently they're still fighting about it) starting in the
1600's. It is an adjective, mainly used to mean "small," as in:

"I am going to need a wee drink if I am to stay up all night
researching urinary terms."

But it is also thought that "wee" is a derivitive of the "P" in the
vulgar term "piss" which was actually thought to be originated by
Shakespeare in his ever-popular play "Twelfth Night:"

"By my life, this is my lady's hand: these be her very C's, her U's,
and her T's, and thus makes she her great P's."

I am not entirely sure how to interpret this line and it's probably a
good thing. I'm not sure I want to know what her C's, U's, and T's are,
exactly (at least, not in mixed company).

I wanted to know how the term "wee" became "wee-wee" since our
newly-formed acronym is based on it, so upon doing further exhaustive
research (getting tired yet?) I found that "wee-wee" is actually a
reduplication (a repeated word used in the juvenile sense, such as
"goody-goody" and "choo-choo") of the term "wee." Upon even further
research, I found that in the U.K. the term "wee-wee" is vulgar slang
for "urine," but in the United States and Canada the term is vulgar
slang for "penis" (redact if you need to, BIG - maybe you could put
the FML in code again) and how did we all know it was going to end up
there?

I would *elongate* further on the term "wee-wee" but that would just be
wrong. This has probably gone on long enough, anyways. Besides, I have
been drinking a high volume of coffee to counteract the effects of all
this research and I have to micturate badly. I will be taking a
stopwatch with me, however, and will record my L.O.W.W. times today
for anyone who might need the data for their research. Let's hope to
high-heavens that nobody does. I'm wired enough.

Roary (who has learned not to micturate against existing air currents)
http://dookology.blogspot.com/
http://www.myspace.com/hoomin
location: 35.246302 ~ -106.717857

[Moderator's note: Probably only about half the FML will actually
receive this issue due to useless spam "trappers". BIG]

[Posted in FML 6231]