I have known Sandi for many years, and she has always been one of my
heroes. So her post the other day was doubly horrifying to me. Not only
did I have to read a first-hand account of two ferrets being tortured
to death (yes, let's call it what it is) while in shelter care, but I
had to somehow wrap my mind around the fact that my hero had stood by
and allowed it to happen. Please, let's call that what it is, too. As
I read further and further, I found myself wanting to jump through the
computer and strangle her. If Sandi had been anyone else, if she had
not been someone whom I have loved for quite a while, Kim's letter
might have been mine. Even so, I found myself unable to resolve this.
I'd try to put it out of my mind until I could deal with it, but
throughout that day and the days which followed images from Sandi's
post kept popping into my mind at random times. Each time, I became
both nauseous and angry. And incredibly sad.

As I read Kim's first post, I kept thinking jeeze that's harsh, but--
yes. And yes. And yes. And now, as always, there is a mob of people who
think feelings are more important than lives. People who refuse to be
judgmental about neglect or abuse (or ferrets' feelings), but who have
no problem whatsoever judging someone for being very, very angry about
neglect and abuse, as if rudeness were more heinous than the crime
itself. We want to protect the mother's feelings when actually, she
deserves neither protection nor children (whom she obviously cannot
raise properly). We want to protect special needs kids from the
consequences of their actions because I guess growing up a sociopath is
better than having your feelings hurt. And we want to protect Sandi,
who. . . Lord, I can't say it again, what she did, it makes me too
sick. But to those who say it was an accident, NO! Allowing something
to happen through inaction or insufficient action is no accident.
Mistake, yes, but not an accident.

It's true that we all make mistakes. And some are worse than others.
This one is about as bad as it can possibly be. But Sandi, the
honorable thing to do is to be humble, admit the mistake, and accept
the consequences. The consequences, in this case, include the just
outrage of others and the fact that it may take people some time to
trust you again--if ever. And repent, which includes real soul
searching and real action to make sure that you do everything you can
to correct the fault within YOU that allowed this to happen. Whatever
your final decision, if you took responsibility for your behavior,
then possibility of getting out of sheltering at least crossed your
mind whether you feel like sharing that with the group or not. Saying
"anybody who doesn't like it can kiss it" doesn't demonstrate any of
that, and so for me the process of forgiveness really can't begin.

[RN]

[Posted in FML 6581]