We have suffered several (expected) losses in the last couple of
months--but on Saturday, our little Ginger (Squirrels Group), who ran &
played all around the room all day with everyone----was dead in her
hammy at meds time. She hadn`t even been sick. Total shock----and I
feel I had just cursed her, that afternoon. I had said to my volunteers
"I know one isn`t supposed to have favorites---and I don`t tell the
others---but little Ginger here---she`s my cuddle baby. Gets along with
absolutely everyone. Never misses her box. I just love her with all my
heart. I think if I could only keep ONE, she would be that one"---and I
grinned, & held her close, as she kissed my nose. In four hours, when I
went to wake her for meds, she was in her hammy--dead. In a comfortable
position. She had died in her sleep. It was quick, and for that I am
glad. But such a shock... You never know who`s next.

I`m so glad she got out each day to play. If she hadn`t, I`d have been
eaten up with guilt. Woulda, shoulda, coulda--as with ANY loss one
suffers...

In the past several years, we have made friends with many shelters
across the country, & I have learned that sanctuaries don`t have a
corner on grief & loss. Many shelters out there have "unadoptables"
whom they hospice until the end. (Maybe not as many, but they certainly
do understand the pain.) They hurt, just as deeply as we do.

One of the ways I cope with all of the sickness & death, is to do right
by the animals every day of their lives, so that eventually, when they
are taken from us, we know in our hearts, that we have done everything
possible to give them a wonderful life. No regrets. We tried to make it
up to them, for what the last human(s) did to them--and we made them
feel loved...

We focus tremendous energy on making each day special for the
ferrets---sometimes to the exclusion of friends & family. If we need
an emergency vet visit, the lunch with a friend gets cancelled. If a
carrier with one needing special feedings is unwelcome at a holiday
gathering, we don`t go.

Lately, I haven`t been much to the few boards I remain on. Our website
doesn`t reflect the last 18 who have come to us, because I have been
busy with them, instead of updating the site. There aren`t enough hours
in the day. I haven`t been good to call & check on friends. One of my
dearest friends lost her dad---and I didn`t even know...I can`t tell
you how rotten I felt. By doing what I feel I have been called to do,
other things have really slid sometimes.

I want to apologize now, for not sending any cards out, this year. For
every card I don`t send, I am helping a fuzzy--either ours, or someone
else`s. (The phone rings a lot here!)

Hopefully when I die, if there IS a Rainbow Bridge, the thunder of
little feet will be running TOWARDS me, & not away LOL. And maybe
there will be just a little more TIME there...

Sending comforting hugs to all who have suffered a loss, or are going
through rough times.

Please give your fuzzies a snuggle from us :)

Merry Christmas.

Love,
Zoo

[Posted in FML 6904]