And now, for something completely different. But only two Bill Gruber
days for that something different, so here goes nothing . . . err,
something.
Kibble versus meat and bones, the latter ambulatory or at room
temperature (after thawing).
Hey ho, which way to go? Some say this and some say that.
I say thisthat.
Like a combination of this and that presented to that four footed furry
eater in a form, in a mix, that combines kibble and prey.
The offering could be in a form that would leave the ferret unable to
differentiate, to selectively eat one kind of food in preference to
the other. The ferret must eat both or he, himself, wind up at room
temperature in the form of a hairy bag of bones. Such a consequence
not too likely.
The one deficit to this mix is that the kill instinct in the ferret is
denied. Why? Because there just ain't nothin to run down and kill. And,
don'tcha know, no fur either.
However, a substitute for chewed prey hide that has a cleansing effect
on the large intestine of the ferret is added to this mix. It makes for
exquisite, sausage, pooper piles that are odorless and oh, so pleasing
to the artist eye in their coiled, rotational majesty.
Edward Lipinski, the Magnificent Ideologue, and occasional wearer of
the ancient Prussian helmet, the /pickelhaube/, (German: pointed [on
top] bonnet) can and will describe his idea for FML peace and
contentment . . . his most outstanding and marvelous achievement of
his dull and monotonous life , , , that being a food type edible with
a soda straw.
Aaaaa ha. Sucking (cider) through a straw. Pretty darn difficult for
the ferret since he got no lips, but he can use his tongue, just like
I do when slurping up melted chocolate ice cream.
Golly gee . . . I'm rambling on and on. Get to the point Edward. Ok,
here it is.
If anybody is interested in this approach, I will elaborate extensively
if and when the response to this modest proposal is of interest to
sufficient numbers of curious ferreters The last thing I want to do is
bore you to distraction. You be nice now, and don't hurt my feelings.
Oh yes, the pioneer gets all the arrows.
Edward Lipinski
PS.
As some of you may have read, I have advocated the use of Fleet enema,
in its soft, squeezable plastic bottle and elongate rubber nozzle, as
a superb tool for ferret ear cleaning. Heck, it's probably pretty good
for cleaning my own ears too . . . don't see why not.
I'm still pulling arrows out of my rump after that recommendation, but
shucks, so goes the world. This list is like going fishing . . .
don'tcha know. I cast out my line and sit back full of anticipation to
see how many bites I get. Isn't that just terrible? Fishing on the
list, tsk, tsk.
Looks like it's time to reel out a bit more line. So here's what you
may want to do for self enlightenment. Next time you're in the drug
store, go look at a bottle of Fleet enema. Look closely and read the
label. You may notice there are two different kinds of ingredients,
each in a different ** enema bottle. One kind is an irritant to wake
up the colon, and the other is a lubricant to **ease out those cannon
ball turds you could hardly push out, even with fifteen grunts, sixteen
groans and a long handled soup spoon.
I choose the cannon ball easy outers. Anyone care to tell me why? Hint:
spiracles.
PPS
We are all saddened by the timely demise of our ace contributor to this
list, the late Alexandra Corporal Coburn of MA. She had threatened
suicide over the continual and discordant warfare related to ferret
diet. She was apparently successful in her threat to "blow her brains
out." The Mexican police found sixteen .45 caliber cartridge cases
beside her head and assume the sixteenth bullet finally found its mark,
the target being very, very small.
[Posted in FML 6243]
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