>From:    Kim <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: Re: On the Lips?
>
>Yes, Mr Ed Lipinski, I DO dribble the warm water directly from my
>mouth (aka lips) to the ferret's lips! And NO, I am NOT worried
>about them giving me ucky germs,

Hello Kim,

First, some observations your post stirred up in my memory, and second,
a question.

My friend is a guy who loves ferrets and mink. He demonstrated a
feature of ferret kissing I've not heard of nor seen anywhere. I
don't know if you are willing to graduate to the next step, as did
he, in the joy of ferret kissing, but if you do, here's step No. 2.

Step No. 1 is lip licking (kissing) that you and your beloved ferrets
seem to have mastered already.

Here is Step No. 2, the Ferret French Kiss. My friend, John,
demonstrated the Ferret French Kiss by holding the ferret up to his
lips, I guess just the way you do now, but instead of pursing his lips
he extended his tongue as far out of his mouth as he possibly could.

Watching him do this and the ferret licking his tongue, top, sides, and
bottom, made the hair on the back of my neck stand up straight. Golly,
I'd never seen anything like this before.

But wait, and as AlGore says, "You ain't seen nothin yet", here comes
the finale, Step 3. This step is for graduate ferret osculators only
and very brave ones at that. Be like Bill Clinton and don't inhale.

Following the Ferret French kiss demonstration, John admonished me
to watch closely what he was about to do. He also suggested I get a
flashlight and follow the ferret as this new kind of ferret kiss was
about to be shown.

John opened his mouth as wide as he could and stuck the head of his
ferret inside his wide opened mouth. That little female ferret just
got busy and licked and licked and licked. I shined the light from the
flashlight into John's mouth and watched intently as John's molars,
tongue and everywhere inside his mouth, the ferret was licking like
you wouldn't believe.

John coughed several times and his eyes began to water profusely. He
pulled the ferret out of his mouth and coughed several more times,
spitting in between his coughs. I offered him a glass of water which
seemed to help and he stopped coughing so he could talk, all the while
laughing.

John confessed to me that he needed more practice with his Ferret
Kissing Uvular technique. Apparently the ferret's tongue putting
licking pressure on his uvula was a sensation that nearly gagged
him and most always set him to coughing.

I haven't seen John for several years now, so I can't say he perfected
his Ferret Kissing Uvula technique. And I haven't encountered anybody
who was willing to try developing this further. But it seems logical
that one who promotes ferret kissing on the lips, Step 1., is the most
likely person to experiment with Step 2, Ferret French Kissing, and
thereafter perfecting Step 3, Ferret Uvula Kissing.

Hey ferret folk! Don't bitch at me ... I'm just reporting what I saw.

And now Kim, my question to you (I really don't know why I'm even
asking this question, 'cause most FMLrs apparently don't know how to
answer a question, but you do!).

Why is it, Kim, and I see this repeated over and over again at these
torture trials for ferrets, amusingly called ferret pet shows - gosh,
how the ferrets do suffer - I see bloody noses, bloody lips and blood
stained blouses?

What is it in a woman's brain that makes them want to kiss and cuddle a
stranger's ferret? Then, not that they need additional attention drawn
towards themselves, they scream at the ferret, NO BITE, NO BITE, NO
BITE! and snap the ferret's nose while dodging the ferret's teeth
and/or shaking it roughly.

Makes a lotta sense, yes?

OK Kim, that's all there is; there ain't no mo.

Edward Lipinski ... who's got a bottle of Fleet Enema in one hand and
                    a ferret on his lap. Nope, she's not constipated.

Guess what comes next, Pilgrim?

PS. You refer to ferret's lips. OK, you and I both know ferrets don't
have lips, right?

[Posted in FML 6233]