So back to Yeshwerk and the washing and the disruption here last week.
Saba and Abeba have known Tsigey 25ish years, living together some of
that time. Tsigey is, as they told me long ago, a person given to moods
and occasional low-level rages. But we love her, and one of the fine
things about the culture here is that one precept is to accept others'
characters. Not that separations and struggles and rifts don't occur,
but there is more forgiveness and acceptance than I have seen
elsewhere.

Here's a example -- in the days of emperors (only ended in 1974),
sometimes a person in the admin or at the palace would be banished for
a minor or a major offence -- including plotting against the E's life
even. Sometimes he was imprisoned, often simply sent away to some
remote provice to govern/admin there, but rarely killed. Later he might
be brought back and given another chance.

A modern example: There is a big public campaign against corruption in
public office now. One guy, Ato (Mr) B, in the Customs dept was caught
and imprisoned. He'd been at the head of airport customs, I believe.
OK, so a bigger guy, Ato S, in customs gave him another chance after a
while, and he was again put at the head, where he was when we were
dealing w airport customs during the last two weeks.

So Ato S is a friend of Abeba's long-lost "cousin" {hi Renee}, Ato BA,
(btw that relative was falsely imprisoned for 23, not 13 years -- one
stretch, under the current gv't, was 13 years; under the preceding one
it was 10 years -- one more story to be told some day). Ato S told the
cousin that we shd go to see the re-instatd guy, and maybe he would
help us get our fabric through. AHA -- and what wd we need to give him?
Undefined.

So Sabe and I went to his office -- Airport Customs Manager. We had
had some problem and were a few hours late. We could see a meeting in
progress -- lots of plate glass in the walls of the conference room, so
we announced ourselves to the recetionist/secretary and sat down. The
only seating was looking directly into the conference room and at the
meeting. A big discussion was going on, and after a few moments,
someone got up and closed the conf room door.

When the meeting broke up, abt 1.5 hours later, the guy we'd wanted to
see came out w all the others and eventually came up to us. We told him
that Ato S had sent us. "Ato S!? Which S?" Why, the Ato S who called
you this morning. The guy just walked out. Another one finally
introduced hiself and told us to come see hi in the AM.

Well, what do you know -- that night the cousin told us that the guy
had been caught cheating again, and the meeting had been a critique of
him. The next time we went to the Manager's office, abt a week later,
another guy Ato M was there at the head. We know Ato M from dealing w
him as a lower manager re our stuff. We saw the disgraced guy in the
parking ot, though, so maybe he still has a job. "Corruption" is
everywhere, known by all. It used to enrage Conrad, 40 years ago.

So back again to Yeshwerk and the washing, Tsigey and Sisay, and the
rest of it. The culture includes a sort of group therapy process. It's
been going on for generations -- centuries, for all I know. You see it
on TV dramas all the time, for instance, both soaps and comedies. When
there is a conflict betw man and wife, neighbors, or whatever,
frequently people in the neighborhood or maybe relatives will get the
parties together and they all have a discussion that goes on trying to
get a resolution.

We've had a couple of them here, including one in which Tsigey was one
of disruptive parties to be addressed, and one in which I was. (Yes,
more stories for later).

So Saba and Abeba had one with Tsigey. It was heated, but eventually
just the airing of the isues and the taking of stands itself led to
resolution. Basically A and S just prevailed, if I really understand
what happened.

Interestingly enough I wasn't included in this one. After a few days
the tensions dissolved, and we are continuing very close to as easily
as before. I am still a little wary, and I think I should have been at
the discussion.

Sabe is the one in our household who tends to organise these things,
though I'm kind of proud that I did one of them a few months ago. I'll
see how things go -- I think it's just that I need to fully forgive
Tsige and see that it is just how she is and that being loving and
lively is also who she is, and that we all want to go back to the peace
and delight and interesting complicated situation we have had. So, ok,
complex includes conflicts and godknows what else we each have going on
in and between us.

- - -
{hi -- most of a day's gone by}

Something has helped a lot -- talking with Sisay and Tsigey about the
money situation we now face. Last night Sisay asked me about the
driving lessons we had planned for him to take. They'd total abt $775,
including some "corruption" payoffs we'd have to make because (as I
learned to my astonishment) Sisay can't read much, and he couldn't
study for and pass the written test. He certainly is smart, and by all
the subtle things one reads in another person and by our culture's
assumption that most everyone has had a reasonable education, I just
assumed he had all the basics there. NOT!

At any rate, I assumed that Saba or Abeba had told both Tsigey and
Sisay how the fleecing by the transitor and customs had affected the
household financially. But they didn't know, really. I'd even asked
Saba and Abeba (yesterday) if Sisay knew we couldn't afford the
driving school. Saba said that Sisay wasn't expecting us to pay for
the corruption -- which comes to abt $550 of the whole cost.

When I explained to Sisay that we couldn't do the driving school now
and that I hoped it could be done later, Sisay said not to worry, it
was ok. We were both working in this room -- the computer and main
sewing room, and I had been showing Sisay the basics for making a
purse. So we both went back to what we were doing -- me on the
computer, writing to Francine {Hi Francine!} about the Nov ferret
symposium and whether I'll have a table there -- and Sisay to the
next purse-sewing task.

Jonas came down the ferret tunnel and began playing around us as he
often does in the evening. A little later we heard several tiny
shrieks, thought somehow Jonas was in trouble, but -- HEY!!! Tsahai
was having her kittens! We traced he sounds to a big box of
(thankfully palstic-bagged) fabric.

Well, what else is needed to bring people together? Big healing in
seeing the kittens and ooing over Tsahai. I had thought she'd been in
another false pregnancy! Tsige was in the shower, and we called to her
abt what was happening, and pretty soon she came in.

We were all transported. Sisay is very tender towards Tsahai.Tsige was
the one wo realised there was no water in the room for Tsahai, and I
aksed Sisay to bring in a littler box fer her so she wouldn't have to
go out if she didn't want to.

Of course the other cats -- all neutered youngish males -- were very
interested, esp Hima who growled. The dogs wanted to look in the box.
We had to keep herding them out.

Tsahai {which means Sun} is amazingly calm. She lets me stroke her and
the babies and she purrs. She doesn't mind my picking the kittens up.
She does not like it when a dog looks in her box, but we shoo them
away.

Today Sisay and I are back to even more than normal in terms of being
friendly and relaxed around each other. Tsigey and I are almost there.
Today I started a conversation asking if Abeba and/or Sabie had told
her how much money the fleecing had involved, and she knew, but didn't
undestand the ramifications till I told her we might have to sell the
company car.

You know, I think this period of problems, now resolved, has made
things better rather than worse.

- -

We three just had supper. Saba is at a wedding -- they go on all night.
Abeba is at the 14-day post-death gathering of the man at whose bedside
she re-met her relative who helped us w customs.

[Posted in FML 6100]