>I really need your help. Oska (Ferret) has started to act really
>funny, he has started to just lick me everywhere as I soon as pick
>him up, arms, wrists, legs, chest, face you name it. This is annoying
>in itself but he has now started to bite and attack me as well. ...
>
>Love (sad) Jess xox
-----------------------------
Dear Jess,
I hear you loud and clear Jess, having lived through the same
experience with some of my ferrets. Let me tell you what I do to effect
a behavior change and convert a biter-scratcher to a kissy-licker. Give
this a try and let us know how well you succeed over the next month
or so.
And thank you right up front here, with your writing style. This is
the style I typify as an eighth grader level and allows me to read you
effortlessly and loud and clear. I've heard now that some FML folks
don't care much for postings that can be understood by any eighth
grader. You know, all them ninth graders.
1.) Start the process clean. To be on solid ground here, I have my vet
examine the ferret for any dentition problem, temporal mandibular joint
articulation, overall physical health and a fecal exam. If all OK here
then proceed.
2.) Fast your ferret to ensure that he is really hungry. Provide water
only in a tin can of about 6 ounces. Let him mess it up, which he's
likely to do. Right his water can through the cage bars with a steel
rod so that you can refill his can by pouring water into it from a
watering pitcher, syringe, or other hard pourer. Have no personal
contact.
3.) On the second or third fast day, do what you have to do to warmly
liquefy his food. Make a soup of it viscous enough that it sticks on
your finger thickly. Offer him a restricted amount of his normal food,
now a soup, IN HIS CAN.
4.) Repeat the warm soup feedings over several days until he consumes
about 90 percent of 6 ounces twice daily. Watch him closely as he laps
up his warm soup and observe his closed eyes and the formation of two
small tears in each corner.
5.) Try to determine if his tongue tip curls upward or downward as he
laps up his warm soup. He should gradually lower his head during the
lapping until his lower jaw is completely immersed in the soup.
6.) In his cage he should have access to a heavy rag on the floor that
he can't move easily. He will rub his lower jaw and muzzle repeatedly
in an apparent effort to cleanse surplus, adhering soup. He will then
curl up under the same or another large rag and off to sleepy land
he'll go.
7.) Now comes the big day for the test. You will have removed his can
after he went to sleep and will have it filled with warm, thick soup
at his awakening. So here goes the descent into hell or the ascension
into heaven.
8.) Hold or place the soup filled can close to him from outside his
cage so he focuses on it avidly. And here we go a fingerin'. Dip you
finger into the warm, thick soup and hold it to his nose but still
outside his cage. Make him work for it with his long tongue thrusting
through the bars of the cage, licking your finger Repeat often.
9.) Be especially observant to recoat your feedin' finger BEFORE he
licks it clean. Recoat and repeat. Recoat and repeat. Be very alert
here and in the event he attempts to grab your finger with his teeth,
just pull back. It is most important that you do not encourage or
tolerate a toothy clampdown here.
10.) When you think he's completely absorbed in licking the warm soup
off your finger, open his cage and place the soup can right there in
front of him and slowly withdraw your hand, making sure that your
feedin' finger is coated.
11.) He will slurp, slurp up that can of soup with gusto. For the next
3 or 4 days repeat this finger feeding until you can work up enough
courage to coat the palm of your hand with the soup and let him lick
it all off, still in his cage. As a reward for good, improved behavior
hopefully, dribble 1/4 teaspoon of olive oil on your palm for him as
he finishes the soup. He'll like this. Here in the Colonies we use a
substance termed Ferretone or any dog/cat skin/coat oil as a reward or
treat for a well behaved ferret.
12.) I would suggest that you feed him soup from within his cage and
from here on out. You may add small amounts of hamburger, cabbage,
carrots, potatoes, all cooked to softness and blended in a high speed
blender until the soup is absolutely lumpless. Once in a while, maybe
a little loose kibble ferret chow or even a small dog biscuit could be
offered. Please add other ingredients in tiny amounts slowly over an
extended time so he can accommodate them.
13.) Here's a tip that will get your ferret to lick your chin
vigorosly. Strap on an English figure 8 harness around his rib cage and
holding the "D" ring with your fingers, try to shake the ferret out of
the harness. If you can, then tighten the harness a notch or two more,
until the ferret remains strapped in the harness. Attach a long leash
line and stake the ferret outside in suitable weather and relative
safety for half a day or so. Let the ferret dig in the soil.
14.) After a day or so digging in the soil, (wears down his claws and
cleanses his fur) remove his harness and place the ferret on your chest
so the ferret's nose is at your chin. With both your hands, gently
scratch and massage the back of the ferret between his "shoulder
blades" and present your chin to him. It's quite amazing the way he'll
lick your chin with all the force he can muster. Boy, that must really
feel good to have his itchy back scratched and massaged. You know, just
like those ninth graders who really enjoy themselves after they stop
pounding their heads with hammers.
If'n you got any questions please don't hesitate to let us know.
Edward Lipinski, Hauptfuehrer, Frettchen Verein Nord Westlichen,
Stadt Mercer Insel, Staat Washington, Amerika
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana, Yes?
Well, I don't know, I've never seen a banana fly, have you . . .
or is it that fruit flies eat bananas? You tell me.
[Posted in FML 6209]
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