>From: Leanne Fletcher <[log in to unmask]> Subject: Ferret Ear
>Cleaning
>
>I have to strongly disagree with Mr. Lipinski's post regarding using
>Fleet Enemas to clean ferret ears. I am a (human) audiologist/hearing
>specialist. Using irrigation in humans to clean ear canals can cause
>perforation of the tympanic membrane (eardrum) if done incorrectly
>(angled in the wrong position), with too much pressure, and/or with
>a weakened ear drum. There is also the problem of leaving an ear
>canal wet - this increases the chance of developing an external canal
>infection. I would never attempt to remove wax from a human ear
>without being able to visualize an intact eardrum and to ensure that
>the skin appears healthy. I then check the ear after cleaning to
>ensure that no damage was done. If you have to irrigate ferret ears,
>I would use a product designed for it, not a product designed for the
>other end of the body!

Guten Tag, Frettchen Volk, (German: Good Day, Ferret People)

You know, the best thing about the Fleet enama is its really neat
bottle and elongate, flexible and soft nozzle. It's exactly 2 and 9/16
inches long and comes with a protective cap that conveniently snap
locks on the nozzle and pretty much reduces fluid leakage from the
soft, plastic-like squeeze bottle, if inadvertently left on its side,
rather than standing upright.

Thank you Leanne for your concern. You have taught me that which I
didn't know, even though most of your delightful post was about
cleaning human ears. I'm so glad you didn't mention using a toothpick
to stick into the ear canal, twirling it round and round, and pulling
out that caramel colored gunk that plugs up my ear from time to time.

Let me tell you, in no uncertain terms, if you plunge in too fast and
too far, WOW! it really hurts like the devil. I'm ignorant of the canal
wax composition, but it tastes bitter. Have you noticed that too? As I
understand, the purpose of this complex canal secretion is purposely
sticky and each person's wax smells altogether different from another
persons.

I've watched dogs go for another dog's ears right away, sniff and then
sometimes repeatedly lick the ear. I have not noticed ferrets doing
this. Maybe others have.

The ferret's ear drum, or, as you call it the tympanic membrane, must
be only a fraction of the size of ours and I assume it is just as
sensitive to sound energy waves as ours, even though it is so small
by comparison.

Somewhere I learned that the tympanic membrane does not appear to move
at all, to the naked eye, that is, but its vibratory oscillation has
been measured in humans at a distance equal to the diameter of a
hydrogen atom. That ain't very much, like measured in units called
angstroms, where one angstom is 3.9370 inches times 1 times 10 to the
minus 9 power Written another way it looks like this: 0.0000000039370
inches. You know, I have a hard time trying to visualize something this
minute.

I can't say how far the ferret tympanic membrane moves in response to
sudden bursts of air pressure, both positive and negative. However,
it's not responsive at all to air pressure modulations if its ear canal
is plugged.

Let me share this with you. We know the length of the ferret's ear
canal is about one inch in length and it is not a straight shot to the
ear drum. The canal is crooked, sort of. Its got a bend in it, some say
the bend, or elbow, is about 90 degrees.

I'm going out on a limb here, but you can quote me, to wit: not one in
10,000 people, including vets, have ever seen a tympanic membrane in a
living and normal ferret. What do you think of that, Pilgrim?

Getting back to that bitter stuff, ear canal wax, we all know that the
lining of the ear canal has a multitude of tiny secretory pores that
secrete wax for the purpose of catching French dirt (debris) particles
that somehow infiltrate the canals. In effect the wax protects the ear
drum from having to carry a load of detritus, a load which would dampen
the oscillatory movements of the tympanum. Such a load will give the
ferret, I would surmise, the sensation of a hard of hearing person. He
would be partially or even totally deaf.

But wait. As Algore says, "You ain't seen nothing yet!" because there's
another culprit to be aware of. Perhaps even more disruptive than just
the concretions of built-up wax deposits. This culprit's name is
Otodectes cyanotis, the common ear mite. These mites are spider or
scorpion like and are in the Arachnida class under the order of
Acarina. Under the microscope the genus Otodectes female mite is
characterized by having suckers on legs 1 and 2 and a non-lobed
abdomen.

The species cyanotis mite are not easily seen, even under the brightest
of lights and congregate deep in the ear canal in close association
with the tempanum. More often than not, their presence is noted from
ear wax removed from the ferret and examined under magnification and
bright light. The very tiny eggs are seen in profusion and are evidence
that ear mites are present.

Cyanotis mites, as is the case with most other mites, are highly
resistant to organic pesticides. Pesticide effectivity is unfortunately
detrimental to the health of the ferret in most cases and more safely
treated by a veterinarian.

The one chink in their armor however is their spiracles or breathing
holes located on the sides of the abdomen. When these spiracles or
breathing holes are blocked for a time, the mites will die of
asphyxiation. There is a simple way of blocking their air supply
without risking the health of the ferret from the application of an
arachnicide. This is the method employed by yours truly, Edward
Lipinski.

It must be noted here that the defecation products of a large
infestation of cyanotis mites in combination with the normal ear wax
secretions forms a chemical compound that tends to solidify this
compound and makes its removal very difficult and certainly not
welcomed by the ferret under going treatment with the Fleet enema
fluid.

The exact process used here at Ferrets North West Foundation wherein
Fleet enema fluid* is used is a proprietary secret and cannot be
revealed to anybody. The only persons who will receive this information
must adhere to the following procedure:

Precisely at 9 PM on April 21** and every April 21 thereafter, the
anointed shall solemnly bow in a westerly direction towards Mercer
Island, Washington, and with hands folded in a supplicant posture,
utter the following epithet:

Para todo hay remedio sino para la muerte. (Spanish: There is a remedy
for all things except death.)

Thereafter consider yourself anointed . . . No cheating now; be nice.

Edward Lipinski

*CAUTION ! ! Do not undertake use of the Fleet enema in any manner
whatsoever; at least not until you have been solemnly anointed and
provided with the detailed instructions necessary to success.

**April 21, a very significant birthday anniversary.

[Posted in FML 6236]