Dear Ferret Folks-

I was so very, very wrong.

I thought I heard the sound of *our* John Deere 1020 starting up in the
back yard, and I knew my husband was at work. I immediately suspected
that Todd and Hebert were going to take it for a *forbidden* spin.
Those two are so new to tractors that they shouldn't be allowed to go
out alone on the back roads, much less *fly*! I know they used it to
bury an FML once, but they are definitely newbiew.

I ran out back through the snow in my bedroom slippers, only to witness
the touchdown of what I believe is a late 40's Fordson Stegamajor. It
is a brilliant blue with red wheel rims, and "Fordson" emblazoned in
red on its blocky snout. And it was flown here by the *dumbest* weasels
I have ever dealt with. There are three of them...A dark eyed white, a
buffly tan angora, and a little cinnamon. And the IDJITS put the
Fordson's rear wheels down in a MUDHOLE. The thing sank up to its axle
in about a minute. The whole tractor is mired, and listing. It looks
alike a prehistoric beast trying to climb out of a tarpit.

If you recognize this business, and have been wondering where your
shiny Fordson is, try Templeton, Masssachusetts. 01468. About a mile
from exit 21 on route 2. I have been putting down kibble and water
for the three interlopers, but I am seriously not thrilled about this
situation. The angora is menacing my chickens.

I am also not thrilled by the ten zillion tiny footprints in the snow.
Your weasels are obviously up to no good with my weasels. They must be
jamboreeing out there all night long. I believe I saw some *otter*
prints in the snow this morning, too, and the burned out remains of a
small campfire. There was also a chewed-looking fish head in the
embers.

I must also let you know that my husband *badly* wants to keep the
Fordson. He says it is his by right of "salvage." He plans to yank it
out of the mudhole tomorrow, and you'll have a hell of a time getting
it away from him.

Please, please, please come get your tractor and your business. Those
FLO weenies have just plain gone too far this time.

Me, I'm taking a set of lopping shears to that wire claptrap with all
the blinking lights wrapped around Todd and Hebert's cage. Enough is
enough.

Alexandra in MA

[Posted in FML 6258]