Polish Professor Velcro Adhesioninski speaks to Sweet Inga on the
subject of Indyczka (Polish for turkey)with just a little assist
from the Chief Ferret Cage Cleaner, Edward Lipinski.

>From:    Inge Nespolon <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: Is turkey okay for ferrets?
>
>Today on the radio I heard a list of foods that dogs should not eat. I
>was very surprised to hear turkey on the list. Turkey in pet food is
>apparently okay, but not the turkey we buy for our consumption. This
>list was from the ASPCA, so it is reliable.

Hello Dear Inge,

This is Edward Lipinski, who works for Polish Professor Velcro
Adhesionski, a highly pre-eminent and respected Polish academician out
of Warsaw University. Hoye Veh...has he got some words for you little
lady. Would you believe he sent his little Edju (Edward in Polish)
down to the supermarket the day after the Thanksgiving holiday. No,
the Polish sausage (Known as kielbasa) was not on sale, much to Edju's
disgust, but instead all the whole turkeys were on sale at $5.00 each,
irrespective of weight. Oye Veh...vhat a deal, Pilgrim. Edju picked up
the biggest fresh turkey and took it to the meatcutter with the request
that the turkey be undressed and taken to the big meat saw. Edju held
up his little fat fist to show to the meatcutter and asked that the
gobbler be sawed to sizes no larger than his little fattie.

Now you should know that this meatcutter is a Kamerad (German for
buddy) of Edju and provides Edju pulverized meat taken out of the
collector tray at the bottom of the meat saw at the end of the business
day and then frozen solid. Then every Friday, little Edju's bride of
49 years picks up, on average, 5 to 10 lbs of hard rock frozen meat
debris, and this is free of charge. Amazing, it is, ja? Well, Professor
Velcro insists that gratitude be shown. So once a year Edju gifts to
the meatcutter a box of Polish chocolates...you know, the kind of
chocolates with the chocolate coating on the inside rather on the
outside.

Back to the turkey, now in fist-sized chunks and rewrapped in typical
plastic covered meat trays. Edju's Swedish bride stuffs the packages
of cubed turkey chunks (CTC) anywhere in the kitchen frig where there
is space and where they are frozen shortly thereafter. Come eventide a
tray of CTC is removed and plopped into the cooking pot along with all
the other ingredients (mostly chopped vegetables and other stuff) and
cooked overnite over a low gas flame. Just so you know, this is one of
the steps in preparation of PLUMPS for our current troop platoon of 12
Frettchen (German for ferrets). Once in a while, a cooked CTC is thrown
on the basement floor where four of more Frettchen are free roaming and
uncaged. In about ten minutes or so we hear the shrieks, chirps and
screams of the several ferrets engaged in a four-way tug of war over
the CTC. We call it the symphony of greed. Next day, nothing left but
the bones and bright eyed, frisky, and highly excited ferrets up on
their hind legs, apparently begging for more.

Oh, dear me. Almost forgot you Inge...yes it's OK to feed cooked turkey
to my Frettchen. Professor Velcro sticks his nose in here (didja get
that, STICKS)and suggests you try the turkey diet addition for your
little loves. As the Germans say, Dieser ist ausgezeichnet! (This is
excellent!)

Edward Lipinski, who reflects on this...Time flies like an arrow. Fruit
flies like a banana. How's that for an entendre?

[Posted in FML 6199]