>Sent: Sunday, April 27, 2008 1:40 PM
>Subject: sos memorial
 [Followup below]

Right now we're struggling with our boy Ismo who has had so many
differing symptoms. We've been working with the vets on tests and meds
and trying to get him better so desperately. It seems to be at a point
now where we will soon need to either treat as what we can and enjoy
our time or do the exploratory surgery and hope he comes through. (he's
had ultrasounds, biopsies, fluid testing, with no definitive answers)
Tuesday will be our one year anniversary of when we adopted him. That
brings tears to my eyes in how down hill he's gone these last couple
of months. But what I need to focus on, and what I love about SOS's
Memorial page, is that it is a celebration of their life, of the time
we get to share with them. It focues on the joy of their living, while
recognizing the sadness of their passing. Too often I have dwelled on
the loss of my three fuzzgirls, when I should remember and smile at the
joy of them in my life. That is what life is, a passing joy for all of
us. That we get to experience it and share it with these loving
creatures, that is the beauty.

              -------------------------------------

Last week I sent an e-mail to the fml about the SOS Memorial site.
Someone was kind enough let me know that the post encouraged her to add
two of her ferrets that weren't yet on there. The above was part of my
response to her. A part that I deleted at the last moment, figuring I
was getting into too much in my response. But I e-mailed it to myself
knowing it would be something I would want to post about later.

We lost Ismo on Wednesday April 30th, a year and a day after we adopted
him. We had to let him pass, and although I've been through that
difficult decision in the past, this was extremely hard to do. One
year and one day. I couldn't have loved him more in that time. He is a
treasure that I am so lucky to have held and loved. And a treasure that
I am beside myself to have lost. He was my boy and my love, my little
smudge-nosed sweetie. And he's gone from me.

It is my way to berate myself. To think of what else I could have done,
where the vets and I went wrong, what we could have done differently,
what might have had a different outcome. This rethinking and rehashing
lasts forever. I did it with all my three fuzzgirls who I lost too long
ago. Clouding the beauty of the time I had with them with regret and
pain.

Ismo I love you. I will forever treasure you and hold you close to my
heart. I promise to try and let the pain lift, to hold your memory
close to my heart in happiness, to recall the joy you brought to me in
our year. The year that my husband points out was a leap year, giving
us a precious extra day.

Ismo, I will celebrate you. I love you.

http://www.supportourshelters.org/mem.html

[Posted in FML 5962]