Dear Melanie, I am so sorry that Tommie left you so suddenly. I do know
exactly how you feel. Rocky Bobblehead, my sweet little defied-the-odds
boy, died the same way. He walked out of his bed and lay down on the
floor. I picked him up and thought his nose was pale. I got in the car
for the one hour drive to the vet and before I got there, he was gone.
The necropsy revealed a ruptured liver tumor. There is NO way you could
have known or prevented it. And the pain at the sudden loss is
devastating. You are in shock and unable to believe it.

Right now you have a little lady there who needs you to help her.
Peanut is as puzzled as you at the loss of her friend. She can't see.
but you can/ She needs you to love her more, hold her and reassure her
it will be okay. You may want to help her find her way to things by
using some scents in the room - vanilla or mint or something like that.
You need to push on and keep doing the things Tommie helped her do.
He would want that, Melanie.

Right now it is more painful than it will be in the future. I would
suggest that, in order to work through your grief that you find a
special place to lay Tommie to rest. Have a small ceremony, wrap him in
a blanking or sleepsack and bury him. You will not heal your heart if
you have him stuffed. It is not Tommy, only the shell that contained
his spirit.

I am convinced that his spirit will come to you and visit. And, one
day, you will be visiting with another ferret and something very
familiar will stir in your heart. You will know and Tommie will give
his blessing as you kindle a relationship with that new little Tommie.
He will be there with you in your heart.

You are hurting right now and it is okay to cry. But, remember that
you are loved by more than Tommie. And, a loving God will cradle you
in his arms and let you cry. So cry, grieve and plan a way to celebrate
Tommie's life. After his burial ceremony, look around and remember
something beautiful about the day. Look for the smiles, not the pain.
And, every month when you pay that vet bill, remember, it got Tommie
what he needed at the time. And, the necropsy got YOU what you needed
at the time. So, look at it, think of something GOOD about Tommie you
would not have had without the credit/surgery, and consider your check
payment for that wonderful experience. Go ahead and remember - never
forget. The tears may come, but so will the joy of remembering a life
well lived.

As for Tommie, he will never hurt again. He is having a blast with his
maker and waiting for you to greet him one day in the distant future.
So, don't feel bad for what he is "missing" here; instead, feel glad
that he graced your life with his joy. Hang in there, Melanie. It IS
worth it.

Hugs,
Renee & the Topsy-Turvies: Odie, Skitch, Isadora & Duncan

-- 
Renee Downs
"Eventually we will realize that if we destroy the ecosystem
 we destroy ourselves." Jonas Salk
"The most effective way to do it, is to do it." Amelia Earhart
It's amazing how much can be accomplished if nobody cares who gets
the credit!
Ferret Emergency Response, Rescue & Evacuation Team (F.E.R.R.E.T.)
http://www.ferretemergency.org

[Posted in FML 6338]