*A Ferrets Guide*

1) Once you find yourself in your forever home, walk to the nearest
corner and show your appreciation by leaving a present in the corner.

2) Your hoomins will try to get you to go in a box with pellets in
it. This is actually a play toy and they are really testing you
intelligence. Throw the pellets around as much as possible!

3) If your hoomins try to contain you in a wired box, make sure to
show your displeasure by leaving gifts in every corner besides for
where your play box is. If possible leave a present right next to it.

4) Hoomins may try thwart your presents by moving food bowls in the
corners since they know we have too much dignity to poop where we eat,
so you most renovate you cage and move you food and water bowls to a
more convenient location and repeat rule 3.

5) Hoomins have scary little snakes or worms at the bottom which are
extremely fun to attack. Just becareful, since the hoomins are very
sensitive about them and tend to overreact when they are attacked.

6) Your hoomins love you very much and everything that is not attached
to the floor or wall is yours. They especially love it when you take
them and hide them. Their favorite presents to give you are long
crooked objects on a ring, the long rectangular object that is about
as long as you and has chewy and delicious bumps on it and makes the
big box glow and talk. The best place to hide your treasures, and
show your hoomins you love them, are places they can not fit.

7) If your hoomins try to attack your toes or belly, thrash and move
as much as possible, you life depends on it.

8) If you start to feel bad your hoomins may try to give you liquid
food, and if they give to you on a plate pretend not to like it at
first. If they give it to you in a plastic tube spit it up and thrash
about as much as possible. Also a well placed present on them is
usually effective.

9) If you want a treat or something the hoomins are eating, look like
you are starving, roll over in front of them, or just look cute, and
they may give you a treat. Now hoomin food it much harder, and usually
requires the distraction method. Knock over whatever liquid is
available, and then grab you prize.

10) Hoomins are there to protect and love us. This means we get to
try all sorts of interesting things like freefalling! Climb up on any
scalable item, (cage, box, wall with shelves), and jump off once you
reach the top! Don't worry, your hoomins will catch you, and the bonus
is the look on their face is priceless!

To be continued......

-- 
Life is like a box of chocolates, its full of nuts

[Posted in FML 5776]