I'm coming into this late, but I'm also very glad that I am. It's given
me time to sit and read a couple days worth of posts spurred by VK's
opinions that he/she laid out. And it's a good thing, because I went
through several stages of thought processes. And it took a little
thinking to work my way through the emotions the post stirred up.

I was dumbfounded at first. I was really taken back and found myself
leaning back in my chair wide eyed and confused. I never once had any
of the thoughts this poster had. Not even in the deepest darkest of
places in my mind. Was something wrong with me?! I mean OMG, I'm
supposed to be "experienced" here. I'm supposed to be somewhat
intelligent. Am I that loopy and biased that I'd not be objective
enough to see what the poster says is obvious? I can't be ... that
flaky. Can I? My mind raced in circles. I started doubting my own
judgement. Doubting my friends judgement. Because now I'm questioning
everything. But that's good, right? To keep an open mind and question
things?

It took a few minutes for me to sort out all of my doubts and to get
a grip on things again. I remembered all of the "facts" about the sad
incidents in Alex's life recently (I don't have to take up precious
space on the list, as those were listed yesterday). The poster didn't
seem to have a full grasp of all them. When I pushed doubt aside, when
I pushed emotions aside, then there was room for the facts.

I remembered people have been around Alexandria over the years as well
as in her home. Very critical people. People that I have no doubt would
have told me if things weren't up to par. Because believe me ... ferret
people love to talk. And if you are thinking they might be under some
magical spell of hers that has let them remain silent, I assure you
only the Great Ferret Oracle has those powers. Not BIG. Not Sukie. Not
the Ferret Charmer. Not that annoying thing, what's her name ... Wolfy.
And especially not Alexandria. Believe me. She's not "that gifted".
And I don't believe the bulk of this list is stupid enough to think
so to the point of forgoing common sense.

I became angry that the poster's words were so callous. The same exact
points could have been made just as firmly without the destructive
flaming. If a talk about dogs and/or supervision in general seems to be
needed, well okay, bring on the debate. But don't bring on more pain to
a sad situation. Don't bring more unnecessary discourse to a community
that needs to remain bonded for the welfare of these animals as well as
for each other.

At this point, I was pretty angry. But I kept reading. The very last
thing I felt? Impressed. Here was a rather cruelly written post, valid
or not, about something very sensitive. Sensitive in that it was
directed towards a beloved member of the ferret community and sensitive
in the fact that it was about a heated ongoing debate (dogs and
ferrets). Yet, I saw nothing but restraint! No matter what your opinion
is, everyone laid their cards out and did so reasonably well. Because
of that, the facts were put out there again, and because of that we
all got a little reality check about dogs. My only regret is that we
sacrificed someone needlessly and selfishly for that reality check and
to satisfy our voyeuristic curiosity about Alex's life. The very person
who has already been hurt by such tragic circumstances has been made
to experience it all over again. And then some. I was not "impressed"
by that.

Ardith states an important thing. There are two kinds of ferret people.
Those who have had accidents (plural), or those who are about to have
them. That is life with ferrets unless your pets lead a sad, sheltered
life in a padded, gilded cage. I've had two accidents ... two escapes.
One was retrieved, one was not. I think the very reason, that I've not
had a good share of sick accidents is because of the FML. Every time
someone writes about an incident, I think that i cant' read it. But I
make myself because a) they are family and if they can live through
it, then by golly the least I can do is hold their hand through it and
listen, and b) I will learn something that will no doubt save a life in
this home later on. I know for a fact that because people here openly
speak about accidents, I've not had a ferret taken out in the trash,
trapped in a dishwasher, clothes washer, clothes dryer, crushed in a
lounge chair, crushed under furniture, poisoned by plants, and geez,
must we make a graphic list of everything that can happen to ferrets?
The reason, is I can't be reminded enough of what can happen. I step
ever so more carefully after those posts. That is after I'm done
thanking them for reliving that hell again from sharing it with us on
the FML. Accidents happen. Again and again. I"ve had them. Most of us
have had them. We all will have them.

How many of us here have done terrible things accidentally or not, but
have never shared them? Way more than who bravely come forward. How
many of us are doing "no-no's" day in and day out with our pets? All
of us. I don't care who you are, with tough enough scrutinization we
all do things "wrong". My list is ... well ... long. But I do my best
to keep it as short as I can.

Now. If anyone would like to discuss dogs and other pets and safety,
I'd love that. I have many years of experience living with ferrets
along side everything else from pet crickets to horses. I'm always
up for trading experiences. Just not at the expense of someone else.

[Posted in FML 6087]