Dear Sara Ferret. Can you please read this too my Storm because there
may be a lot of mistakes. It is still so hard for me to hadle his
leaving. It's be 5 months, Mothers day and the tears still run down
my face as rivers down the mountain.
thank-you
Storm's forever Mommy, Sue
My Dearest, most precious Storm,
It has taken me since Mother's day, the day your blessed and enegetic
spirit left you as your body trembled in my own trembing hands, to
write to you to say I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I trusted someone else's
instinct and not my own about your illness. I'm sorry I couldn't go
to your funeral, I just couldn't stand it. To see you there, 5 days
prior, even with the "ear-infection" so full of life and love. I, just
couldn't bear it. Daddy laid you gentle down for me, and soon I will
put a seat there by where you and your brothers and sisters lay, so
that I may sit and remember the angels I was once holding in my arms.
Now you all are held by the wings of your angel spirits and my forever
love.
I'm sorry I never got to get you to your other vet to show her what
the emegency vet showed me, that massive mass in your tummy, no ear
infection. I'm sorry I fell asleep and didn't get you to the vet in
time. I will never let my instincts down again, and I am in the process
of getting a new vet for your brothers Chance and Scooby your sisters,
Nikki,Scarlet & Annie So many sorrys, so much pain Storm. I miss you
so much, so, so, very much. I let you down and I am so very sorry.
This room, your room is so empty now of the joy you brought to it.
Everyone has somewhat adjusted to your leaving except for your glued at
the hip brther Chance. Oh Storm how he misses you. He has not been the
same since you left. No one goes thru the octopus tubes anymore. You
were always the one to start & play follow the leader!! There are no
more unsceduled flights from chairs or anywhere else. This room has
become a sadder place without you. JUst as my heart has, and I fear it
will never, ever be the same. It has taken me this long to write to
you, to know that you are happy. But I have to know now, my angel boy.
Are you happy, do you get enough lift with your new wings? Do you get
enough rasin bandits? Oh Storm, ask the Bridge keeper to let me know
how you are. No other brother or sister you've had that passed ever
effected me this way, so hard, but you were cheated. I let you down.
But Storm, I may have news for you that will elate your heart, but
AGAIN mine. Chance may be coming to see you soon. He has a marble sized
hard lump on his abdomen. I fear it is cancer, he will have surgery
on Tues. (soner I wished, but that is a long story and because you
live in my heart everyday, all the time you know what we've been
thru this weekend with Chance and this lump(no exotic vets available
until Monday) But you know Stormy boy, my fly boy, I'm ok with the
possibility of his being together with you again because that is where
he belongs. He is not happy here without you, he never has been. I can
live with that.
I'm glad I finally put my broken heart to the side for a moment to
write to you. Storm, please don't think I just forgot about you the
minite you died in my hands. You know that could not and never will
happen. You are beyond one very special boy and I'm sure I may have
even scared you with my calling for you to not leave me, and Chance.
So, be happy and free. Because of you I will be more cautious, even
more than I was before. I will not just flippantly, and blindly trust
a diagnosis, because of you, I will never fall asleep at a timer that
could change the outcome. Because of CHANCE, I am advocating for more
exotic vets on call, on week-ends, on fridays. I love you Storm with
every beat of my broken heart. I know you fly higher than anyone
there!! And most of all, I know you will be beside your self with
happines to have Chance back, the "Dynamic Duo" together again!
Always & Forever
your loving Mommy 10/18/07
ps HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! I remember how much you loved to dress up
scary and scare your mommy, you silly, silly boy!!
[Posted in FML 5767]
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