When I read Alexandra's account of Pings demise, I felt a multitude of
emotions. I was upset, I was angry and I felt profound guilt. But the
first thing I did was write to Alexandra and express condolences. We've
all lost ferrets, most to diseases, some to negligence, and some to out
right accidents that can't be for seen.

I had read of Switch the Kit who was killed. That was caused by human
error (not Alexandra's) and a dog, but not Alexandra's. I was upset
at Ping's passing in such a unnecessary way, and I too had thoughts
like 'how could this have happened again'? Was it human error? Was it
negligence or just downright stupidity? The how and why didn't matter.
Alexandra had lost a family member and was willing to share her grief
with us, knowing I am sure that she might receive some negative
response. I would not be one of those people because I had been in
her shoes before a few times.

My first ferret Shelby died of cancer, massive tumors in her belly.
Why did she die? Because I kept putting off going to the vet and by
the time I did, it was too late. My fault entirely, it could have
been prevented.

After this all ferrets were seen by the vet once, if not twice or more
per year. If they hiccuped, we went to the vet. So deep was my guilt
over Shelby.

My next casualty was again, entirely my fault. Nibbles was my husbands
favorite, and he didn't like ferrets at all. I was having my living
room floor refinished and I had to close off the ferret room so the
fumes wouldn't bother them. But the window was leaky and it was winter
time and I was afraid they'd get cold. My sons mattress and box-spring
were on the floor so the ferrets couldn't go under the bed to poop and
I had to push it away from the window to put plastic over the window.
I shoved the mattress a few feet, covered the window and went about my
business. That evening when it was bedtime, my son began collecting
the ferrets to put in their cages. But we couldn't find Nibbles. He
couldn't have gotten out of the room, there was a plexi glass barrier
at the door. Then my son heard a ferret snoring under the mattress. He
lifted it and there was our beautiful Nibbles, on his back, his chest
covered in blood and gasping for air. I snatched him up and he lifted
his head to look at me, his tongue was purple and he coughed blood all
over me. I rushed him to the emergency vet, but nothing could be done.
His chest was crushed and he'd been oxygen deprived for too long.

My husband was angry. He blamed me and rightly so. He didn't speak to
me for two days.

It was my fault because I didn't think to check under the mattress and
Nibbles lay there suffering all day.

I wrote to Alexandra, (no, we don't know each other and have never met
in person) she had just gotten Ping. I asked her 'how do you know when
the time is right to get a new ferret after an accident like this? Is
it wrong to want to get another ferret'? She told me there's never a
right or wrong time, the heart knows. I contacted a shelter in
Massachusetts who entrusted me with three of their beautiful
surrenders.

What's my point? My point is I caused the death of two of my ferrets,
through stupidity & negligence and was too chicken shit to admit it on
the FML or FHL. Alexandra wasn't responsible but she shared her story
and got flamed. She's hurting, she's grieving and probably feels guilty
to boot. Why do we as a community, need to dump on her? Are we perfect?
Place yourself in Alexandra's shoes, WHAT IF?? It could happen to you
as well. Would you share your grief and expect to be flamed? Would that
be kind or productive??

Pings passing was an accident, and we add insult to injury by
condemning Alexandra? Not me.

Learn your dance Alexandra, help Todd learn his and may your heart be
full of love for ALL your family members.

Leslie

[Posted in FML 6087]