Dear OTHER Kim-
(Kim and her Army of Idiots Kim who posted yesterday)

Thank you for your kind interest in Kim Fox's recent medical trials.

The VERY good news is that she is healing well. She can wiggle that
little stumpy thing from her amputated eensy weensy third leg without
any pain at all at this point! She is even thinking about picking out
something pretty for it...a piece of gold or silver naval jewelry for a
pierced navel. Maybe a ring, or a small diamond, it all comes down to
finances in the end, but it shouldn't be hard to adapt something like
that to the stump. I understand that there are both Britney Spears and
Posh Spice lines of jewelry she could browse for that, very flashy!

It was hoped that Kim's legs would be made the same length by the
operation, but already we can see that this isn't
*quite* going to happen. The left one is going to drag a little, but
that's not a big deal. To save on the cost of orthopedic shoes, Kim
is simply going to duct-tape a phone book to the bottom of all of her
right shoes, and that should bring them level with the left ones.

She is already trying out for the local theatrical production of 'Moby
Dick", in the Captain Ahab role. It is perfectly suited to her as it
involves a great deal of intense, neurotic breast beating and bellowing
and of course Ahab had that limping, one-legged thing thing going. Kim
can practice with the prosthetic whale-bone leg as soon as she can
bear the weight on it. She is working on the script already, and the
neighbours get quite a chuckle out of it when she screams Ahab's lines
such as "FROM HELL'S HEART I STAB AT THEE; FOR HATE'S SAKE I SPIT MY
LAST BREATH AT THEE!" They turn to one another and say "That's our Kim!

Alexandra in MA

[Posted in FML 5497]