I have a ferret that has lived with me for many years. He weighs 60
pounds and usually drags me to and fro when we go for walks. I've taken
to letting him run in his wheel for exercise, because I don't know how
else to get him toned and fit. I also don't like getting my jeans all
scuffed up and dust up my nose. So, what do you all think? I call my
ferret "Cooper", after the English singer with long, red hair. His last
name is Chewers. I don't know why, it just is.

I've tried giving him a longer lead, giving him kitty snacks and even
letting him dook at the neighborhood (batteries included) toy doggies.
However, he keeps taking the batteries out of the toys, spits out the
kitty snacks like they were chewing tobacco (his record is 35 feet!)
and he takes the whole leash, then pulls me up the dirt road, bouncing
and cursing and raising a cloud of dust (which goes up my nose - hence,
the complaint). No, there is no "Hi, Ho, Silver! Away!" to be heard
during this escapade.

I've tried yelling "Heel!" He then runs back to me, grabs the heel of
my sneaker, gives it a hard yank and knocks me to the ground. He then
jumps on my chest, dooks for several seconds (I think he's laughing,
actually), then flumps away at high speed, beginning the old "drag the
human" thing all over again. The dogs in the neighborhood just shake
their heads and turn away.

I just can't take it any more!! My ferret is just too big to take for
walks, but he needs the exercise. Short of hiring the Pittsburgh
Steelers (as a team) to keep him under control, I don't know what else
to do. Any suggestions?

Oh, any resemblence to anything related to large dogs being difficult
to walk, are purely coincidental...er...or maybe on purpose...you can
never tell about these things.

Hi, Alexandra!

P A R O D Y   P A R O D Y   P A R O D Y   P A R O D Y

---
Todd and the Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns
http://leuthold.lancaster.pa.us/Page2/

[Posted in FML 5602]