Fine.  ::crossing my arms in defiance::  Robin outed me, it's true.
I'm a bird huffer. The evidence:
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b218/wolfysluv/huffing.jpg
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b218/wolfysluv/huffing1.jpg

Sue, I'm an addict. I used to sniff ferrets. I have a dreaded past with
it. Here's the story. I have allergies, asthma and eczema, but I didn't
let that deter me from sniffing ferrets. I hit bottom and could be
found crouched down, hovering in corners, ferret in hand, diving my
face into ferret fur. Then my ever present rash from mushing them
into my face got so bad nothing would help. Around that time, I was
invited to speak at the Vegas Ferret Symposium. My face looked like a
strawberry patch. It was a very ugly time for me (no, literally, I
looked awful). I was running out of time as the date for the forum
approached and one day, while I was cleaning out my cabinet I came
across a nice big tube of Monostat. One of the few tubes of anything
the ferrets had not chewed. I guess even ferrets have their standards.

Anyway, I got a brain storm. Maybe nothing was helping the rash,
because maybe it had evolved into an infection ... like a fungal
infection. I had one from an allergic reaction in a hospital years ago,
and it looked strikingly similar. I shrugged ... and slapped that crap
all over my face. After months of trying everything, I saw improvement
within two days from the Monostat. I happily told the IFC that I was
going to be presentable for my lecture due to the Monostat.

Judy Cook, Georgia Wood and Rebecca McFarlane knew not to kiss Da Wolfy
because she had vagina creme all over her face. Unfortunately for
others, they did not know and greeted me with kisses all weekend.
What was I going to do, announce what I did to a bunch of strangers?
Besides, I have a sick sense of humor and it was, well ... humorous.

So because I fear getting that same type of out of control rash, I
lightened up on the ferret sniffing. Last year, I got pet birds. And
as I cuddled my cockatoo in front of the television, I breathed in
wonderfully sweet smell. It was an instant high, and my habbit has
come back full force even worse than before.

Hello, my name is Wolfy Stout and I'm a bird huffer. I huff birds
whenever anyone is looking ... which is a few times a day. Thankfully,
birds don't come out unless ferrets are put into their cages in their
room. So they don't know. I'd like to keep it that way.

My question is ... if I develop allergies to birds, like I did to
ferrets (after 40 years), what will I huff then?

Wolfy
Ps, for ferret huffers ... enjoy:
http://home.wanadoo.nl/de.fret/ferretsong.html
(wav of the song is below the lyrics)

[Posted in FML 5794]