::Out of the sky, you hear a sonic boom. The sound waves feel as if
they have rippled right through your body. After you clean up the floor
under your chair, you see where the sound came from. A red speck is
descending from the sky. Trailing behind it is a billowing, midnight
blue robe. And trickling down to earth behind the blazing, red, Radio
Flyer wagon are Depends. It's "her". The one that you thought had
disappeared from the FML forever. Say it isn't so. Maybe if you close
your eyes hard enough, she'll go away. That's it. You squinch your eyes
shut as hard as you can and recite to yourself, "please don't be here,
please don't be here, please don't be here". As you open them ... ::

"Hello ferret love puppets! I have just braved blizzards and ice storms
from the North to bring you something special. ::Chewing her gum with a
few last chomps, she launches it from her mouth into a powerful arch to
your side:: I know I already brought you something special just by
showing up, but I mean I'm bringing you something REALLY special today.

::The bringer of prophecies reaches into her robes and feels around
until she finds what she seeks. A squeaky toy. She begins squeezing
it relentlessly.::

"Where are my slaves? Here fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy!"

::Appearing from everywhere are dozens of ferrets. All have the all too
well familiar devilish sparkle in their eyes. If you look closely ...
some seem to be smiling::

        "BEHOLD!"

::With a wave of her hand, the ferrets snap to attention. The Oracle
begins mutter a spell. Louder. And louder. The fuzzbutts begin to
organize into a sort of ... pattern at your feet. What are they doing,
you wonder? They are forming, lines, or characters ... or something.
The Robed one claps her hands together after reciting the spell and
the ferrets react by launching their tails straight up into the air.
Then "the look" creeps across every one of their faces. Just when
you realize what is going on, they disperse with a happy dance and
leave ... something behind. You can see letters spelled out in poo
at your feet.::

       " I bring to you, ferret love puppets, this message: "

                     HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT PARSONS

The Ferret Oracle

[Posted in FML 5524]