Deep in the Appalacian mountains, there is a rather peculiar site.
A rather peculiar site, unless ... you are an FML'er. In the thick
forests of Tennessee sits a woman clad in midnight blue robes. She sits
with tiny furred creatures at her feet. Why, why was this woman and so
many house pets hiding in the woods? And who is this woman?

Propped up on a stump is the Great Robed One. The FML's Ferret Oracle.
Not self proclaimed, no. She did not ask for this title. It was
bestowed onto her by various bored and creative posters years ago. With
nothing better to do, they posted of silly make believe happenings such
as their ferrets cat-a-pulting cats on each others porches clear across
the country. They spoke of ferrets such as Kouri, Gator, Ashling, Pong,
and so many more playing tricks on one another and their owners. It was
a time of great fun and wide participation. One day, someone spoke of
Wolfy walking around pulling a tiny red radio flyer wagon mumbling in
desperation to write a witty comeback to so many hysterically funny
posts directed towards her on the FML. It was already ascertained by
many that like a Furby, she had a loose giggle pin and therefore ... a
loose bladder. She attempted to reply to the jokesters, but she was so
busy changing her depends after reading others funny words, that hers
fell short. In a last ditch attempt to make her friends and readers
laugh, she predicted something. Or tried to. That is when an FML'er
shot back at her in a post, "Wolfy, you're an Oracle now, is that it?"
And the razzing began. People joined in describing how they pictured
this alter ego of Wolfy's. They painted pictures of a dark haired
woman with billowing robes, a wooden staff, a trusty pooper scooper,
hairballs, and a teeny toy wagon with squeaky wheels that she had to
lube with ferretone. In the wagon was an endless supply of depends
and baked beans (to power the wagon). Each item came from a separate
person's post and story. The legend grew over the years changing with
peoples imaginations.

Now, what is that Oracle doing in the woods? It looks like she is
talking to those ferrets.

"Now you all know what to do. Remember you are the ferrets, they
are the ferret love slaves and our puppets. So, take this
http://ferretlover97.terrabox.com/Dooker_Delights.html
and leave it in their favorite places. Hide it in their underwear
drawers, video game consoles, human sleep sacks, handy dandy candy
drawers and yes ... even in their penguin porn."

"Penguin porn," asks one sable girl.

"Yes, many humans like penguin porn. They watch it in the movies March
of the Penguins, Happy Feet, Surf's up, and many more movies. Sean,
Pharos's autistic boy, has said so. Why he even informed his High
School teacher that March of the Penguins had penguin sex in it. I
mean, there was ... (looking around and lowering her voice) an egg,
after all."

"Ooooo"

"Yah, they love penguin movies. So hide them there. We want as many
ferret love puppets to see this as possible. It's the ... only way.
Now, MOVE out! Go my wee ones, get to work. Soon ... soon we shall
have it all from Totally Ferret"

Mass numbers of ferrets race out of the woods. So many that the
forrest floor looked as if it was a moving carpet. They carry precious
information in their mouths for their humoons that can benefit all of
ferretkind. Alas it is only the first of four. The first of four great
messages. We must sit and wait for the Ferret Oracle to work her magic
and share with us the rest of the information.

Then ... I can bonk her on the head and put her back in the closet.

Take a peek
http://ferretlover97.terrabox.com/Dooker_Delights.html

[Posted in FML 5644]