It is I, da Wolfy, back from Canada.  You poor, poor things.  This means
posts.  Lots ... of posts.  Lots ... of yammering full of "woofymoments".
So, if you don't like reading, hit that ole scroll wheel.  If you wanna
hear about Toronto, friends, and funny things, read on.  Forgive me of
the scattered talking, I'm in a rush right now.

I'm going to begin the posts with the flights to and from.  This is
because it was the most "woofy" part of the trip.

The flights were pristine on the way to Canada.  But the trip did not
quite go off without a few woofyisms.  For example I suggested to the
old man in Chattanooga TN to strip search Sharon.  His eyes got large
and he said, "NOT me!" The younger fellas heard and they joined in the
fun.  They took the wand and made beeping sounds with their mouths to
her.  It began a long conversation about some funny ads on tv.  Off to
Charlotte we went.  Unsearched.  Darn.

Next, our Miss Sharon Beardon, ice cream whore, almost made us miss the
second flight into Toronto due to a craving for ice cream that seemed
to come out of thin air.  Charlotte has no trains and rarely has moving
sidewalks.  So if you are late, good luck.  You will not make it to the
end of this massive airport unless you are OJ Simpson ... on steroids.
Sharon was carrying this horribly heavy duffle bag ... and if you saw
dainty Sharon you'd understand the problem there and could imagine how
much that slowed us down.  Thank GOD most of the ice cream places were
closed.  Because if we had stopped we'd never would have made that "last
call to board".  Good lord.  Scary.

Now we get to the fun.  Sharon and I are standing in customs at the
Toronto airport.  And as I walk through, I announce to the guy that he
may want to search Sharon's suspiciously bulging black bag, because there
is a chance that her husband, Joe, was in it.  Sharon's panicked face was
something to remember forever.  Especially when I suggested to the man
that she wasn't very bright to not soak the parts in salt to rid herself
of the water weight and look less obvious.

Wait ........ until you see what I did on the way home.

Nonoit'sabadWolfy
[Posted in FML issue 5288]