I is Sammie and I needs to clarify somtine wis you.  I am not OLD, I am
older, as in odler than that young rascal Max who is irresponsible, he is
an ear biter and he hogs the hammie.  Not the types a fine young thing
like you deserves.  I admires and respects females.  I wanna be your
boyf....n..  Hey!  Who let you outta the cage.....give it back!  Ouch,
let goa my tail........#*&%#*!!*&....I'll get you, you weasal!
 
Hey dare Miss dippyido, how's my little rosebud doing today.  this here
is young handsome Max.  Sammie had to go do something, probably another
nap, that's all he's good for, ya know!  I am frisky and full of enrgy
and likes to play!  I can climb real good and I can steal you nice
things.  Sammie is just a floor rat!  Why, did I tell you that
Sammie......S-C-R-E-A-M!!!!........HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
 
Let go o' the keyboard, I'll bite you!!  CHOMP!!  YEOWWW!  Don't touch
that button
 
No!  No!  Not the red button!!  If you do my letter will be gone!  Ouch!
That's MY ear!  Let go.........HHHIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!  Nononono
not that butto.....................Click!
[Posted in FML issue 5253]