Dear Miss Leah-
 
Dude!!
 
You sound like a rockin's, stompin', war-dancin' kind of ferret girl!
You sound like someone I could call Dude without her tail going all
politically correct on me and brushing up!  Heck, you couldn't *hear*
me call you Dude, anyway, you're deaf!  (Quit it, Puma!  I am NOT being
"insensitive to the disabled!")
 
I *LOVE* knocking stuff over, climbing on furniture, jumping in the
trash and rolling in it and stuff like that.  You and me, we could
make beautiful smashing and crashing music together!
 
Now lemme tell ya about this Miss Cassie thing.  First she's flirting
with this Tonks guy.  Then she moved onto me.  THEN she got into this
Ifsy guy.  She has a lot going for her, but she has this revolving door
thing going on, too.  It makes me nervous, makes me think of my first
hoomin, the guy who dumped me at the MAFF shelter.  TWICE.  First 'cause
I wasn't cuddly enough, so he wanted to try a cat instead.  Then he took
me back.  Then he dumped me again.  Then he dumped the cat.  Then he got
an iguana, instead.
 
Dude, I told the iguana not to unpack.
 
And * then*, while I'm laid up, laying back, and trying to recover from
all of those Beer Nuts I ate (do you like Beer Nuts?  I'd share with you,
but I ate them all.  Probably not gonna do that again.  My bung swelled
up as big as my fist and I had to hold my tail out straight like the
handle of a stove lid ) she goes off on you!  Calls you a hussy and (OW!
Well she did, your Pumaness, she did call her a hussy!) then she starts
with this "Ping is HE is MINE" stuff....DUDE!!  I don't get it.
 
Do you like tractors?
 
P. is He
[Posted in FML issue 5232]