Dear Staci,
 
I'm sorry for the passing of Osiris, and I can imagine that you must feel
terrible that you weren't there when it was his time to go.  But if
you'll permit me to throw in my two cents?  I had an experience with
someone's death, where I was by this person's side night and day for
several weeks.  Finally, one day, I just *had* to get out of the
hospital...to this day, I don't know what came over me, but I suddenly,
very urgently, had to get out of there.  So I left and went back to my
house, and sure enough I had barely gotten through the door when my phone
rang that the person had passed on.  I firmly believe that it was a gift
for me -- from the person, from angels, from G-d, I don't know which, but
some cosmic kindness to me to not be present when it happened.  Although
I wanted to be there for the person (who was unconscious, at any rate),
it would have been terribly painful for me to watch them die and be
powerless to do anything.  So you can look at the fact that it happened
this was as a gift to you...Osiris was surely unconscious, too, right?
And you wouldn't have been able to help, you just would have had the
terrible helpless feeling.  Perhaps Osiris -- or his Creator -- wanted
to spare you that much.
 
I hope you find comfort for your loss.
 
Take care,
Chana
[Posted in FML issue 5016]