Ummm... dook... Hello?...
 
Mouse-thing like Ping's?  Mom stashed it in the drawer because Commander
Sanka tasted it.  Accessibility options, ok, I see.
 
How does it know what to write, though?
 
Speech to text... translate what?  I understand what I'm saying just
fine!
 
Oh the box.  Look, Harry, I feel like an idiot, talking to a box.
 
Well, then, maybe Commander Sanka should be talking to it.
 
Oh, OK!
 
Hello.  I am HoJu.  I have been ordered to explain to you why ferrets try
to eat things that humans don't think ferrets should eat.
 
Mushrooms are good.  Especially on pizza.
 
But I LIKE pizza!  My first human let me eat all the pizza I wanted...
and burritos... yum... corn chips too.  Remember the look on Mom's face
when I snitched that dumpling out of her soup bowl?  Chuckle, dook!
Maybe Ping should see if his staff people have a jar of pizza sauce to
dip his mushrooms in.
 
Then YOU don't know what's good, Harry!  YOU are probably one of those
finicky ferrets that we're supposed to be talking to.
 
OK, OK!! The story...
 
Anyway... We ferrets have a problem with humans and foods.  Very, very
often ferrets are only given one food as very young kits.  And, very
often those kits grow up never knowing that other stuff can be eaten,
too.  You know how stubborn we are!  If a ferret only gets one food all
his life and then his staff people can't get that food anymore or if he
loses his staff people and has to get new staff people that don't know
what food he eats, let me tell you... that ferret is in serious trouble
because then everything they give him to eat doesn't taste right and just
makes him miss his old staff and food even more.  And when we get sick...
well, even I'm a little picky when I'm sick and even pizza doesn't taste
good... but the chicken sauce on the dumplings is good when you're
sick...
 
Anyway... We have sent out a few notices to various units to encourage
finicky ferrets to at least taste of a few things other than just the
kibble your staff people put in your food bowl.  Of course, you shouldn't
pretend to be nose-dead and taste of something that smells poisonous.
You might snitch a bite of something your staff people are eating and
maybe, just maybe, they'll get a clue and get you something to supplement
your usual kibble.  If your staff peoples are like my Mom and Dad, it may
take a few days or even weeks because they get so carried away shopping
and staring at the scribbles on food bags that it might take awhile for
them to decide.  So if your unit has a Staff Travel Supervisor like our
Mordy here, be sure to get him included in the new food shopping trip to
sniff the bags and eliminate the possibility of your staff people
bringing home something truly yucky.
 
So, those who are stashing samples to be sent to other units, keep up the
good work.
 
There are several recipes for really good soups your staff people can
make for you as a treat, or even as one or two of your daily meals.
One of them is at:
http://www.ferrets1st.com/articles/duck_soup_and_additives.htm
 
Our staff Mom gives us this soup twice a day.  And it's really, really
good... almost as good as corn chips with queso dip.
 
We also get several different kinds of treats.  I used to like only the
Ferret Bites Chicken flavor by 8-in-I, but Mom kept touching my nose with
Bandits and Pounce so I'd have to taste it for like, weeks, and now I
like those treats too.
 
And we said, "dispose of the notices".  You could have just stashed them
in a corner and pooped on them.  Most staffers won't look too closely at
pooped on paper.  Some paper is fun to chew, like the crinkly kind, but
it doesn't taste all that good.
 
HoJu, Foraging Specialist
Ferret Liberation Organization
Ferrets First Foster Home Unit
[Posted in FML issue 5062]