Revised.....at 9:00 pm tonite, Helena died in my arms.  I had her cuddled
in my shirt - and she took her last breath, without me even really
noticing it.
 
I would highly advise anyone out there - DO NOT TAKE YOUR SICK FERRETS
TO ANY VCA.  They have a tendency to kill them.  Shortly before we left
VcA - they advised me that they had given her a shot of morphine.  She
never came out of the stupor.  I called them at 8:47 to ask them when it
was supposed to wear off.  They said "oh relax, that is normal".  Funny
isn't it?  Normal?  4 hours of a complete coma - normal?  I will now and
forever believe that the shot they gave her - killed her.  My consolation
and curse?  She died in my arms, with her head on the heart that she
ripped out and took with her to the rainbow bridge.
 
Ok - so now rainbow bridge kids - look out for my little girl.  Please
take her in - and let her know - I am so sorry for failing her.  And I
am so sorry I took her to the place that killed her.  Help her find her
feline and canine friends that went ahead of her.  Especially Sinbad the
cat - who used to carry her around like she was his kitten......How
ironic - when I talked to her about the rainbow bridge tonite.  I told
her, after we got home and she looked so small and fragile and so
tired.....that if she didn't want to fight anymore, it would be ok to
go.  I told her how beautiful it is there....and that she wouldn't hurt
anymore.  I never dreamed she would go though.  I thought I had one last
chance......how can someone believe in a God that would allow us to feel
such incredible pain and sorrow - when we loose these kids?  Why can't
God make their lives longer?  Why can't MAN make their lives BETTER?  Why
are so many freakin vets out there, but so FEW who give a sh*t enough to
learn about a ferret BEFORE they treat them?  I don't think I will ever
forgive myself for this one kids.  My baby girl.  The one gal - who
introduced me to ferrets 4 years ago - today........cosmic karma?  The
little girl - that I was lucky enough to share my life with - for 4
years.  I know - some people don't even get that much and I should be
grateful for the time I had, but God what I would give to do this day
over.......God what I would give to have one more day with her....
sorry guys.  Thanks for listening.
 
And CJ?  I love you.  Thank you for doing your damndest to help me.
Without you today, I really don't think I could be typing this email.
I don't think I would have the strength.  You are an inspiration and a
saint.  I will NEVER forget what you did for me today.  If I can ever
return the favor, you have my number.  Maybe there is a little light at
the end of this tunnel.  A week ago I was in Petco checkin on the...oops
I mean, visiting the ferts.  And it was a good thing I did.  I picked up
this new little shaver...cuter than a ferrets ear - and when I lifted him
to see him - I noticed that he had a prolapsed rectum.  Guess what?  If
it wasn't for this digest, and CJ - I wouldn't have known anything was
wrong with him and probably woulda put him down.  I didn't - I ran to the
nearest manager and pointed it out - Dweezil (yes, I named him.......)
was taken to an emergency vet and "stitched" back to rights again.  When
we went in yesterday to check on him - they told me he was doing well -
but that they woul dn't be selling him.  They told me that they would be
adopting him out and asked if I was interested.........I said....."well
duh"!!!!  They did let me go in the back to see him and he went beserk
trying to get out to me.  I got to hold the little guy and he showered me
with baby kissies.  He has a couple more "well fert" checkups and then
they will probably release him to us.  Again - cosmic karma?  Who knows.
Maybe God knew that I couldn't look out for both of them - as I was
spending 24/7 with Helena.  Maybe it was supposed to go this way - so
that I can help this new little guy out.  Who knows?
 
Thank you all so much for being there.  This forum is something that I
could never have lived without - and without it - I wouldn't have found
so many wonderful people here.  I just wish that we could do more for
these babies.  I tell people - ferrets are like.....a kitten, puppy,
toddler rolled together - with a professors intelligence.  How close
am I?
 
God Bless you all - and may he watch over our sick kids closely so noone
else has to feel this horrible tonite, tomorrow, or anytime soon.
 
Heartbroken Kim and her one less, army of idiots..........damn - I can't
stop crying.....does it ever get any better?
 
Lord, help me to be grateful for what I have, and not greedy for what I
want.....
[Posted in FML issue 5096]