Ferrets came into my life when I was dating someone that owned ferrets.
It was about 5 years ago, and at that time, I lived in a suburb near San
Francisco, very near Berkeley, actually, and a reference to Berkeley and
California Fish and Game that I read in a posting prompted me to write
this.
 
My girlfriend would bring her ferret when she came to stay with me, and
I, not being an experienced ferret owner, had not ferret proofed my
abode.
 
You can quess the next part: one day her ferret escaped.  We launched
an intensive campaign to find her ferret.  During the first few hours,
perhaps we were a little less public than we could have been fearing
attracting the attention of California Fish and Game, as my girlfriend
had heard many stories, stories that she would tell me in a hushed voice
in the still of night when all the lights were off, including how Fish
and Game agents would enter residences without warrants and seize ferrets
to be destoyed.  That sounded rather unconstitutional to me, but then,
it is easy to believe Orwellian stories for some strange reason.
 
It was not long before we abandoned all caution and begain placing
posters on street posts and flyers on doorknobs.  I think it was two,
maybe three, days later when our efforts proved fruitful, and we received
a call from someone nearby that had recovered her ferret.  Unfortunately,
she had never seen anything like a ferret and called Califonia Fish and
Game who had sent an agent to retrieve my girlfriends precious little
baby.
 
Pitting desperation against hope, I called the local Fish and Game
Office, and was directed to the nearby wildlife shelter, which of course,
was a part of the fish and game department.  I drove there immediately,
was let in after hours, and was handed the precious baby after only being
asked sufficient questions to ascertain that I was the rightful owner
(technically, I wasn't).  I felt like kissing every fish and game agent
there, which surely WOULD have gotten me arrested.  I later made several
trips to the wildlife shelter after that, as it was a wonderful place to
see injured golden eagles, mountain lions, bobcats, and more, and my
daughter ultimately became a volunteer at the facility.
 
Calfornia Fish is Game is loathe to destroy any animal, even a
destructive mountain lion, let alone someone's precious pet.  It is their
policy to make every attempt to return lost ferrets; they never actively
seek out ferrets or ferret owners.  They really do have better things to
do.  Also, if you are caught attmepting to bring a ferret into California
at an Ag inspection station, which would be unusual as very few cars are
ever stopped, I certainly never have been, your ferret will not be taken
from you as long as you turn around.  You are free to try another route
or the same route again a few hours later.
 
The rest of the story is that my two-legged relationship ended rather
badly, but when my girlfriend departed, she left her ferret with me, who
by that time had another furry friend to snuggle with when I was not
around.
 
Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.  The sky is not
falling and we all are not going to die from chicken flu either.
 
[Moderator's note: If only we were all so lucky.  F&G has indeed been
quite difficult at times!  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 5049]