Deep in the woods of the Tennessee hills, a ribbon of smoke could be
seen rising above the canopy of trees.  As we zoom up on the scene a
soft, angelic voice can be heard through the rustling leaves.  A petite
gorgeous woman is sitting on a stump wearing midnight blue robes reading
the FML out loud to a circle of wonderful creatures called ferrets.  All
beady eyes were on her and her alone as they twirled and twisted their
whiskers around and around with their little paws in anticipation of what
was to happen next in Alex's story.  The cauldron bubbled madly beside
them with what some might call, white lightning.
 
"Great robed one, but what happened next?", interrupted Rocky.
 
"Shhh, ya big dope.  She's gonna tell you if you listen," replied Dippy.
 
"Ping Is He and Dude are gonna use one of France's quills for a toothpick
I bet," Rocky persisted.
 
"Shhhhhhhhh," all the fuzzies impatiently exclaimed.
 
The Oracle read on, "DUMBASS!!!  They's drivin' the tractor!  The TRACTOR
OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW!  Look out your window!"
 
"Ooo ooo, it's our neighbor isn't it?!  How'd our neighbor get in the
story," asked Rocky.
 
"Shhhhh!" everyone shouted.
 
Rocky shifted back and forth trying to contain himself so as to not be
chastised by his friends again.  He then snuck his way next to the robes
of the Oracle that mysteriously billowed on occasion and that the other
ferrets avoided at all costs.  There was a heat wave raging across the
country and by God Rocky was going to remedy his discomfort.  What better
way to cool off than to sit next to this portable but slightly stinky air
conditioning?
 
The Oracle, occasionally smacking her gum, read on ending the story,
"Imagine a Brillo pad, all scrunched up, and dunked in a milkshake until
it was completely saturated..  With lots of whipped cream.  And two
furious, beady little eyes, telegraphing the ultimate in Hedgehog rage.
Imagine the swearing, once she wiped away enough of the whipped cream
with one paw that she *had* a mouth again, beneath an energetically
dripping snout.  The Otters shared the one remaining latte.  Their
impression of it?  "DELIGHTFUL!" "
 
Rocky shot up and excitedly exclaimed, "It was Bob Church, wasn't it?
It was Bob Church in that truck with our neighbor!"
 
The Oracles mouth paused with gum poised in her mouth in exasperation
and the ferrets all exchanged stunned glances.  Rocky's expression of
accomplishment stood out like a sore thumb among the annoyed faces of
the other ferrets.
 
An uncomfortable silence was thick in the air when Dippy came forward
to break it.
 
"So uh ... Rocky ... wanna come with us to get a latte?"
 
The Oracle
http://wolfysluv.jacksnet.com
[Posted in FML issue 4950]