Okay, I now have a new form of birth control in my house.  For humans.
But it's made by ferrets.  And I don't mean the dried piles of crusty poo
in the corners of the rooms that totally gross out any brave man who has
dared to enter my house for a possible date.  Or the - what did that one
buttwipe say about my house?  Oh yeah,.."you must really love them with
their God-Awful smell." Most guys leave skid marks in my driveway after
they see the pony out back, the chicken on the carport and the free-roam
old farty ferret.
 
Nothing works better for birth control than to have a ferret take up
residence in your box springs.  Luckily enough- the box springs I have
aren't the coil-type.  They are big, sturdy "V" shaped metal struts that
are reinforced with a solid wood frame.  If I wanted to, I probably could
get a little frisky under the covers- but what a great excuse!!!  "Uh,
Hon- I'd LOVE to, but... we might crush the ferret." Oh, if only I'd had
this deal when I was married!  So if you want more info on this new birth
control method- just let me know- Bandit #49, creator of this method,
would be glad to share his insight and thoughts with y'all.  What a silly
ferret.  You should only see him hanging outta his hole in the side of
the box springs, looking up at me while he's upside down (yeah, he lays
on his back and stares up at me- I think he might have a slight crush on
me or something un-natural).
 
And don't forget- ONLY PRACTICE SAFE SEX, if you have to practice sex at
all.
 
**Warning: this production could endanger your ferret.  Check your box
springs!!
 
Many sick hugs & silly dooks,
Mar & Bandit #49
Richmond Ferret Rescue League, Richmond,  VA.
[Posted in FML issue 4906]