It has been a while since my last post and if the number of questioning
emails I've received on the subject is any indication, it would appear
that many people thought I have died or on my way.  Well, I am NOT dead
or dying; I'm just in Columbia, Missouri.  Maybe my body odor fooled you.
 
Most of you who have heard me speak for the last year or so can report
that I was having problems with losing my voice.  I know many people
wished I would, but this problem was actually causing considerable pain.
After my talk in Chicago -- and the subsequent discussion at a local
pub -- my voice hurt terribly, I tasted blood and I was forced to go
home.  I choose to stick my head in the sand with the thought that I had
a strep throat or something.  A trip to the east and then to Cincinnati,
and I could no longer sing in the car or to my ferrets.  This time I
figured out this was not going away.  Since I had to have a couple of
skin cancers removed from my arm, I figured I might as well let those
butchers peer into my throat.
 
Turns out I had the same type of skin cancer on my vocal chords as I did
on my arm.  Curse my youth of excessive sunburning in the Sierra Nevada
Mountains of California!!  Those signs refusing service to the shirtless
were meant for me.  I was so sunburned all the time my fellow boy scouts
called me Robbie Rednose.  Well, the docs took it more seriously than I
did, so I've been undergoing some minor pharmaceutical treatments, and
I've had the naughty little boogers removed from one chord.  The other
side will be done lateronce the first side is completely healed.  It has
been no big deal, but the chemistry has made me somewhat tired, so I've
been a very naughty boy and not been answering my phone or emails.  It
also made me more than a little nauseous, so I haven't been reading much
either.  Mostly I just roll around like a blubbering beached whale.  In
any case, despite my reluctance to have things looked at, it turned out
I caught it in plenty of time and I should be 100% cured once they stop
hurting me.  Sorry, you lost your chance.
 
Since I've been talking about cancers, let me add the following paid
commercial announcement:
 
*PAID ANNOUNCEMENT* Hey guys, if you are like me, then you like boobies
about the same as ferrets.  Why not take a few moments to check out your
own man-boobs?  Find a lump, go to the doc and don't forget to stop at
the ATM on your way.  While you are at it, testicular and prostate cancer
kills thousands, so be sure to check them out as well.  Be thorough --
don't let a millimeter go by without protracted digital exam.  I can
tell you that at the end of each self-exam, I have a feeling of relief
that cannot be purchased from an ordinary HMO', even those in Nevada.
So, feel yourself up guys, and do it often!  You and your man-boobs,
prostate and testicles will be glad you did!  *END PAID ANNOUNCEMENT*
 
Ah, well, anyway, these types of problems are common in us older folk,
and if caught as early as I caught mine, are generally cured.  The only
thing I was worried about was if I would be ready to talk at the next
ferret show, 'cause you know how much I like to talk.  And talk.  And
talk.
 
There is a point here I'd like to make regarding ferrets.  Humans get
a lot of cancers, the majority past the age of reproduction (about 40
years).  Ferrets also get a lot of cancers, also usually after the age of
reproduction (about 4 years).  Unlike humans, Jills do not go through a
menopause, but as they get older their ability to produce kits generally
diminishes, and in wild populations, Jills just don't survive much beyond
that time, or if they do, their babies don't.  A lot of ferret owners
love to jump on the "Ferret Farm Genetic Fault" bandwagon when it comes
to ferret cancers, but the statistics just don't support such a
conclusion.
 
A lot of things can cause cancers, such as environmental pollutants
(smoking, asbestos, etc), diets (oxidants, free radials), exercise (risk
increases as exercise decreases), sun exposure (the deadly UV monster,
grrr), and even medical treatments (risks can increase with treatment for
auto-immune disorders).  You have to also remember that bodies have to be
able to heal themselves from cuts and injuries, so we already have a
mechanism built in that is similar to cancer.  Regardless of species,
many cancers are generally due to accumulated DNA damage over time.  That
is generally why older people get cancers, and most-likely why older
ferrets do as well.  Some pathologists have claimed nearly all humans
past 60 have a cancer of some type (not all are large or nasty or
notable), which is probably fairly accurate, and I suspect the same is
true for most mammals that are getting up in age.  That is why you (past
40) should have a doctor check you yearly, and a vet should yearly check
your ferret (past 4).  Oh yeah, if you have a persistent pain when
talking or singing, have someone look at it.  If I had waited too long,
my next nickname could have been "Robbie Robot" and it wouldn't be
because I was a love machine.
 
I recommend everyone with a ferret read Mel Greaves' book, "Cancer: The
Evolutionary Legacy." It is cheap (paperback), written in a popular
style, is easy to understand, and will give you great insight to the
mechanisms of cancer.  The section on tobacco is fantastic to the
non-smoker, perhaps frightening to the smoker.  Because the mechanism of
cancer is essentially the same in all mammals (regardless of where they
start), as you read the book cross out every use of 'human' and pencil
in 'ferret.'  Then every time someone suggests farm ferrets get cancers
because of poor breeding, you'll have some ammunition for a proper
response.
 
A handful of FML people knew what was going on and I appreciate they did
not discuss it on this forum.  I wanted to wait to mention it until after
I knew the outcome (actually, I just didn't feel like mentioning it until
now).  As it turns out, I won't have to miss a single speaking engagement
AND I'll be able to start singing again soon.  Better plug your ears!
 
Bob C  [log in to unmask]
[Posted in FML issue 5121]