In yesterday's FML:
 
>It's common for ferrets to eat soap... don't know why... have never seen
>Bob Church speculate, even, lol.  A small amount of ingested soap won't
>hurt.
 
My speculations depend on the speculum and where it is headed.  Sometimes
I'd rather run than speculate.
 
For soap to work it must be dissolved in water in order to free the soap
molecules.  Soap molecules are generally composed of multiple sodium
atoms attached to a long chain fatty acid.  Soap works because its fatty
acid end "grabs" or bonds to the fatty part of the dirt (oil, grease,
fat, etc.) and the sodium end helps to "pull it into the water" or
dissolve it.  Sodium, combined with chlorine, makes common table or sea
salt.  Sometimes soap is made with potassium, commonly used aboard ships
where salty water doesn't allow regular soap to function well, but most
soap is sodium.  Before the chemistry of soap was understood, sailors had
a difficult time removing fatty substances from their hands, particularly
irksome if you are a whaler.  The solution, at least until potassium
soaps were invented, was to use urine to remove the fats.  Uric acid does
a spectacular job degreasing skin, and is as good as most shampoos for
cleaning hair.  I just thought you would like to know in cause you go on
Survivor or something.  Later, I'll tell you what a red toilet seat means
to a sailor (brings new meaning to the phrase "red head").
 
So, soap contains two substances to which ferrets (and humans) are
commonly attracted; fatty acids and sodium.  But, there may be more
involved in the matter.
 
Ferreters commonly wash their hands and forearms with the same soap the
ferrets are licking, These ferrets--during bonding time--are licking and
grooming their owners, so it is likely they are also imprinting on the
smell and taste of soap as well, their scent and taste abilities being
what they are.
 
So, if I were to speculate, I would say some ferrets consume soap because
they imprint on it during grooming and learn the soap has palatable fatty
acids and sodium.  Well, palatable to ferrets, anyway, although I still
have fond memories of Ivory and Lava from my early years.
 
Most soaps should not cause any harm to the ferret; they are designed to
be harmless to people.  The worst thing you can expect is a good case of
the "detergent doo-doos." A glass of soapy water can unblock the Jolly
Green Giant, if you know what I mean.  Still, I wouldn't trust the newer
anti-bacterial soaps.  Don't let that stuff into your house, unless you
want to be part of the masses trying to breed the next super bug.  They
really should make soap manufacturers read a bit of Darwin before they
allow them to start testing the fitness of bacteria.  Maybe they are all
making soap in Kansas...
 
Of course, this is all speculation, so if I am wrong, please don't
speculate me!
 
Bob C  [log in to unmask]
[Posted in FML issue 5058]