I stopped by Toys-R-Us a few nights before Christmas.  While out shopping
with my boyfriend a few days before then he'd seen the "Battleship!" game
and commented on how when he was younger a friend had that game and he
wanted it desperately but Santa never brought it.  So I thought it'd be
cool to get it as one of his presents and tag it from Santa.  So I go to
Toys-R-Us.  Immediately I'm reminded of why I haven't reproduced.  Swarms
of knee-high creatures are everywhere.  Grabbing.  Whining.  Crying.  I
ever hear one go "You can get me this other one for my birthday then I'll
have ALL of them."  I'm reminded of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka "I want
it NOWWWW, daddy!  You never get me anything you're a mean, mean man!"
Well I find Battleship but it's not the old-fashioned one.  It's this
electronic one with all these involved weapons and buttons and sounds
and well $40 seems a bit steep for a "silly" gift.  Neil would agree.
 
So I'm making my way through the swarms of greedy little beasties and spy
a rack full of "Littlest Pet Shop" playsets.  Ahhh would I have loved
those when I was little!  I look at the husky puppies and the hamsters
(complete with tubes to run through) and kitties.  Then I find this huge
fancy playhouse set of just about all the critters with some "added"
free critters And I spy it.  A FERRET!  A tiny adorable little big-headed
baby-looking ferret!  I'm tempted to grab the box and run to the
register.  But this is Christmas.  I'm supposed to be buying stuff for
others.  Not indulding my obsessions.  Maybe if I stand there for awhile.
Wait for some kid to pick up the box and tell Mummy and Daddy it's a
must have.  Then I could go Pssst... kid... $5 for the ferret.  The
long skinny thing you probably didn t even know what it was.  It'll be
ignored.  Kicked under your dresser.  $5, kid.  That could buy you the
husky set as well."  Or I could just open up and "look" at the set.  And
"accidentally" slip the ferret into my pocket=2E But then reality checks
in and I envision myself being approached by security.  They caught me on
camera.  The ferret falls from my hand and I gasp.  All my clients hear
about my shoplifting incident then hear it was all for a tiny plastic
weasel.  Surely they won't want someone so evil preparing their taxes.
So I leave the ferret.  I swear he sighed at me cuz he knows no kid will
appreciate him like I would.  I sigh and walk away.
 
http://www.hasbro.com/littlestpetshop/pl/page
collection/dn/images/pets/50144.gif
 
He will be mine... he will be...
 
Laura and The Seattle Seven at http://www.ferretocious.com
[Posted in FML issue 5108]