To me it seems that it is our Perception of the intent or meaning of
those written words that continue to be a problem of agreement here.  My
Perception is ... I don't see some of those "no ad" messages as gentle
at all - that's where the confusion lies... perhaps the message being
addressed by a particular answer is not the one immediately preceeding,
so what one person is answering may not be what another person has just
read - yet "they" jump to that conclusion...
 
It doesn't matter if the intent of the message was gentle or not... a
person has a right to express themselves, just like you all have done.
Now - Yes some responses to the replies to the original posts were gentle
no doubt... yet some, as I PERCEIVE them, absolutely were NOT gentle, nor
meant to be.  And who donates or how much they donate to a rescue
absolutely is NOT the issue of the discussion..  that's a red herring.
 
Also, apparently many ferreters DO agree with the importance of the ads,
but the disagreement and different perceptions has to do with where those
ads belong..  here or not... and to what extent.  I also believe that any
recent increase in any particular type of posting (including happy ferret
tales) has to do more with coincident, happenstance, or fate than
contrived attempts of manipulation of cont ent.  (I'll fix thisfor the
rest of you later - at the end).
 
Just as THIS message could have been left off the list, so could and
maybe should have been the messages that repeat over and over and over
that the complaining about ads did not mean to leave ads off the list.
 
If the authors of those messages didn't mean 'leave the ads off the
list', then what was their point?  "too many ads" ?- among other things
that is what was said... so who chooses which ads get on or which are
left off..  who decides that Sally Sue's (SS) need is greater than
JoBeth's (JB) and so SS gets to post 4 ads and JB only gets to post 1.
If the intent was to reconsider how ads are listed on the FML why wasn't
that the topic... instead of a wholesale griping about the ads, then why
not just say, "has anyone else noticed there are a lot of ads on here
these last X many months.  Does anyone else think we should address how
ads are posted on the FML..  that's not what was said... the comment was
flat out too many ads and why are they here anyway... they were mean,
they were rude, none of those were gentle as perceived by some of us.
 
And yes there were people who chimed in with words of salve to soothe
those who defended the ads, but you see I don't see them as having done
anything rude, mean, or aggressive..  "I see their words as, "hey I don't
have a problem with the ads" ... or "I kinda like the ads there", and
also there was..  "and here's why I don't mind the ads"  YES there was
also some "give it a rest", but the detractors to the ads and the
defenders of the ads just kept coming and kept coming, some with
suggestions (these are maybe the peacemakers), others it seems just
didn't want to hear anyone say, "I think the ads are OK".
 
The idea of an "ad day" was rejected..  and I think the idea of "all ads
at the end of the list" was rejected, so, how about everyone or anyone
can only post an ad once a week or once a month - oh wait that would be
tantamount to an ad day per advertiser wouldn't it.  How about this...
put a link to an AD SITE on the FML..  so go to the FML to get the link
to the AD SITE for Ferrets.  Put this link at the end of the FML listing
so it would be easy to find.  BOLD LETTERS..  You know, the FAS... Ferret
AD Site
 
This apparently is important enough an issue that it needs not just
addressing, but fixing, so everyone can relax... haters of ads and
needers of ads... and those who hate but need the ads...
 
But back to the problem of PERCEPTION... Too many of us also read (past
tense) those messages and still BELIEVE that the intention of some of
those messages certainly was to make people feel badly about advertising
and to Shame them into stop advertising.  This is kinda funny, but....
We got that idea from the order of the stringing together of certain
words... So I wonder,
 
Why are you (pl), who say it wasn't meant to say this or that, the ones
who got it right and the rest of us got it wrong?
 
That's what you are saying, ya know ... and you are NOT saying "gee guys
here's what I thought that meant", you are saying here's what it meant
and you, who think otherwise, are wrong", which intimates that we are too
fn stupid to understand what was said...
 
HOW DO YOU KNOW you got it right?  Are You the only ones who got it?????
You have some special insight that the rest of us don't have?  As for
those of us who read it differently -- WE!  got it wrong?????  What's the
deal..  AGAIN are the rest of us really too stupid to understand what we
read?  That's exactly what you seem to suggest.  ONLY YOU can understand
what was meant?  ONLY YOUR take is the correct one?  [the pronoun you in
it's varoius forms is meant to be plural in most of this post...]
 
It's a question of PERCEPTION - oh and now also a question of delivery..
Thought: While the original complaint may be insulting or intimidating,
even bullying, whether or not the author realizes it or even if he/she
means it that way, it seems to be the responses that are perceived as
toxic..  I'm guilty of seeing some that way - others I see as smug,
holier-than-thou as a ferreter and sardonic.  I see them as a put-down to
individuals, who are simply expressing their own opinions and thoughts,
albeit with passion - and I see responders to the repliers as arrogant,
know-it-alls... PERCEPTION
 
I'm sorry ..  Really I am, but that's how they come across to me..
and so far I've only spoken to the actual issue not the delivery, next
issue... (tbc) snicker
[Posted in FML issue 4863]