Dear Ferret Folks-
 
Well, it has been interesting seeing how Switch and Lily have adapted to
having the Frickin' Pigmy Hedgehog, France, that I got for Christmas in
their closet.
 
In a word,... No-.  I must use several words.  They have adapted badly.
They have adapted rudely.  They have adapted crudely.
 
For the last several years P.H. (Pre-Hog) the ladies consistently
selected one corner of their ferret room to do their backing up business
in.  I always needed to put extra newspaper on the floor for that very
reason in the corner of choice.  Well, Since France arrived, everything
has changed, and the change appears to be permanent.  The ladies (I am
not so sure that I should style them ladies anymore, given recent events)
now choose to....um....relieve themselves DIRECTLY in front of the
plexiglass sheet that separates the ferret room from Hog territory.  I
mean, inches away.  So that France can enjoy the view, in living color,
oh, say, fifteen times a day.  Every day.
 
France, being a hedgehog, hates this, as she hates everything else in
the known universe, including several things out of it, like of all the
missing "Dark Matter" that astrophysists are always going on about.  You
know, the stuff that's supposed to comprise, like, nine tenths of the
universe but the astrophysists just can't find it?  France hates it,
ditto "string theory", and "Bose-Einstein Condensates."  She also hates
more prosaic forces, such as Modern Art, Hip-Hop, fast food, and of
course, ferrets.
 
The ladies make a point of smacking their heels against the plexiglass
sheet when it is backing up time, just so that France can enjoy the full
effect of their creative efforts.  France, for her part, skulks inside
the inky darkness of her cardboard box home and whispers " I 'ate
yoooou.....yooooou 'aff nooo culture....", and this time I have to agree
with her.  Barbarians!
 
Alexandra in Ma
[Posted in FML issue 4755]